To Break Habits and Puppy Love
by Death-By-Bacon
Summary: The rookie ninja squads find some odd and disturbing habits of their sensei’s and try their hardest to fix them at all costs. CRACK
1. Making Discoveries

Chapter One

Author's Notes: Okay, I came up with this on a school trip over night to Chicago. We had gone shopping that day and my friend bought a Naruto manga with the picture of Kakashi with his ninja dogs. After sharing some interesting thoughts on the topic I came up with this story. It won't be as long as The Three Years, but it'll be alright I hope. The first chapter of most stories goes slow as does this one. Sorry.

Enjoy.

EDIT: I fixed some small errors I found, mostly in Tenten's family brawls. Sorry for confusions.

Chapter One

Making Discoveries

_Team 7_

"Oh boy!" Naruto cried proudly. "Kakashi invited us to his house!"

"I've never even seen his house." Sakura admitted. "I didn't even know where he lived."

"It's not that exciting." Sasuke sighed. "Though for Kakashi-sensei to invite us over for dinner so suddenly is…unusual."

"Two-thirds of the team has no family." Sakura said. "Perhaps he's only trying to help."

"Does Kakashi even have a family?!" Naruto gasped out loud. They three of them were silent for a moment, then shuddered.

"I don't wanna know…" Sasuke grumbled as images of a large, masked, and lazy family flashed in their minds.

"I'll bet they all read perverted books like Kakashi does." Naruto muttered, and the images of the imaginary Kakashi family all pulled out one of Jiraya's many books.

"Those books aren't perverted." came a sudden voice from behind. They turned to see Kakashi standing there. "They're romantic and dramatic."

The three tried to recover from their surprise, all gasping on the ground. "Good lord, don't sneak up on us!" Sakura shrieked.

"Why are you following us to your house anyways?" Sasuke snapped.

"Walking to my house?" Kakashi asked. "I was at my house already, but you guys walked past it."

The three, feeling utterly stupid, looked over Kakashi's shoulder to see his home a few feet away.

"I'm so glad I don't let you guys hold the map on missions." Kakashi sighed. "You three have no sense of direction."

"So we get to go in you're house, right Kakashi-sensei!?" Naruto cried, excited.

"No." Kakashi said, his voice brutally honest. "We're going to that new restaurant down the street."

"But you invited us to your house!" Sakura whined. "It's not fair! You said…!"

"You three aren't allowed in my house." Kakashi said, smiling. (Well, we don't know if he was smiling, but it looked that way…) "Come on, now."

The three sighed, annoyed, and glanced at each other. For now, they could not see the mysterious home of Kakashi. But the thrill of wondering what was inside was almost as mysterious as what was behind the mask. Silently, they agreed that they'd find out.

_Team 8_

The three students collapsed in their teacher's doorway, all looking hot and tired. They all carried at least ten shopping bags per student, which as you've guessed, were full and heavy. Their teacher, Kurenai, set down her house keys on the kitchen table and motioned the three to follow.

"Come, now!" She grinned. "They can't be _that_ heavy!"

All three grunted in reply. It was Saturday, the dreaded day for them; the day Kurenai-sensei went shopping; or better yet, sent them to shop for her. They picked up fallen bags and limped into her home.

"I hate shopping day." Kiba snapped as Akamaru barked in agreement. The small dog even held onto a small but heavy bag from his mouth. A look of exhaust covered his face.

"It's not…that bad…" Hinata mumbled, struggling more than her companions.

"It is." said the usually silent Shino, who's face twisted oddly with the weight of the blender he held. "She won't let my bugs hold anything. She doesn't want bugs on her stuff. It would be easier with them." The mutant, super strong insects inside his coat buzzed with agreement.

"Sure would." Kiba sighed. All three dropped the bags on the floor in her room.

"Dear god!" Kiba hissed suddenly. "Look at this room!"

The three looked up to see a room filled with…things.

"Does she _ever_ open the boxes?!" Hinata cried, very uncomfortable with the crowdedness of the room.

"She's a shopping maniac!" Kiba spat. "This is…this is…"

"Ah!" came Kurenai's sudden voice from behind. "There you are! I was looking for you. I need a favor of you guys! Actually, Shino, can you help me?"

"Huh?" Shino grunted but his teacher shoved a scrap of paper into his hands.

"I forgot something." Kurenai said smiling. "I need you to go pick it up."

Shino unwrapped the paper and red it. Midway, his face fell and became deathly pale.

"This is…!" he gasped.

"What is it!" Hinata cried, getting more and more nervous each second.

"I can't do this!" Shino cried, trembling.

"What is it?" Kiba snapped. "Show me!" Shino tried to pull it away but Akamaru snatched it out of his hands and fetched it back to Kiba and Hinata. The two unfolded the paper and read it. They're faces went pale too.

"Lingerie!?" Hinata practically screamed.

"Victoria's Secret!?" Kiba sputtered. Akamaru squeaked.

"What's wrong with that?" Kurenai asked, casually.

"Shino can't do this, ma'am!" Hinata cried. "He already can't talk to any female other than us two! He can barely talk to you!"

"That's not my problem!" Kurenai snapped. "Shino, get me my lingerie!"

Shino, defeated, quietly and awkwardly stumbled towards the door, his comrades following him silently. Before parting for the day, he turned to them.

"Do…do you think if I put bugs on my face people won't know it's me?" he asked fearfully.

"I think they'd know." Kiba sighed sadly. Shino dropped his head again and dragged his feet away.

_Team 10_

The three stood there awkwardly, cringing at the smell of their teacher's cigarettes. In fact, Asuma had an entire pack shoved into his mouth; lit and smoking. This was not the first time he had done this, though. In fact, putting more cigarettes than the average smoker smokes in his mouth was a new habit for Asuma. He seemed to enjoy the thrill of adding a new one every day. He first started out with one, and then he moved onto two at a time…then three and so on. He had now fit the entire pack and was looking awfully pleased with himself.

"Asuma-sensei…!" Ino said, trying to get his attention. Their teacher stared off into space. It seemed smoking many cigarettes at a time cause…side effects. His head bobbled slightly.

"Sensei!" Shikamaru snapped loudly, finally getting his attention. "Will you stop smoking for a moment? Choji's asthma can't take it anymore!"

The "pleasantly plump" boy now laid shaking on the sidewalk, gasping for air. "If this continues, all you'll have is me and Ino." Shikamaru fussed.

"Wouldn't be so bad." Asuma muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Ino asked.

"Nothing at all." he said quickly. He managed to grab all the cigarettes at once to exhale a large and oddly colored smoke.

"Is that really tobacco?" Ino asked nervously. "The smell's different…and it's making me dizzy."

Choji stood up finally and snatched the burning cigarettes out of Asuma's hands. He tossed his handful into the water below the bridge they stood on, looking satisfied.

"Now I can breath!" he sighed in relief. "That's that."

"You jerk!" Asuma snapped, looking heartbroken over the railing. "Now I have to buy more!" He sniffed as the smoke lifted from the water and drifted upward…to heaven. He spun back towards Choji with a murderous look.

"Be sure you'll have some laps to run tomorrow!" he snapped, walking past the students.

"Just us or Choji?" Shikamaru asked hopefully.

"All of you!" Asuma answered.

"Come on, sensei!" Ino moaned. "We're only worried about you're health!"

"If you keep smoking like that, your lungs will turn black!" Choji added. "You'll get cancer and die early in life."

"I'm not going to die early!" Asuma snapped. (Ho ho, yes you are!) Angrily, he stormed away.

"That man needs to quit." Shikamaru sighed.

"Perhaps we could help him quit." Choji suggested.

"Asuma could never stop." Ino snapped. "He's been smoking since…forever. When did he start smoking?"

"Eh." Choji and Shikamaru shrugged.

"The important thing is we need to be supportive of him." Ino said. "Maybe we could help him quit!"

Choji frowned. "I already said that!"

The other two continued to ignore Choji…as always.

_Team Gai_

It was that same awkward feeling…like you're being watched. This feeling was normal for Tenten, though even now she cringed at the thought of it.

"Sensei, I know you're there." she mumbled, allowing Gai to stumble out from the bushes.

"Very good!" Gai congratulated her. "You sensed my ninja presence, didn't you?"

"Oh course." Tenten groaned. "Why are you following me today?"

"Danger lurks everywhere, young pupil." Gai said, very passionately I might add. "I'm making sure your many enemies don't try to pull a fast one on you while you innocently walk home."

Tenten twirled a kunai in her fingers. "If someone attacks me, I'll be ready." she informed him. "Go follow Lee home."

"I already did." Gai smiled. "But that boy needn't worry about enemies. He's so nice everybody likes him!" Little did Gai know that the entire village plotted against Lee every waking moment of their lives.

Gai was the kind of teacher who got far too into their student's affairs. He was very "over-protective" of his three darling students who, in his eyes, viewed him as the greatest person who ever live; this being far from true.

"I dunno, what about Neji?" Tenten sighed, hoping for relief of the conversation.

"I already escorted him home." Gai said, matter-of-factly. "His family is so nice to me." Tenten grunted out loud, frustrated, and continued on.

"Wait, my admiring student!" he called. "You're walking too fast!" Tenten began to walk faster. "What if your enemies jump you?"

_What kind of enemies is he talking about?!_ Tenten thought. _I'm not THAT unpopular! _She finally stopped, for she had reached her house.

"Good, you're alive still." Gai sighed, finally catching up to her. "Go and enjoy family time, Tenten! You can't stay with me all the time!"

Tenten shuddered, but without another word dashed into her home. She was welcomed with the usual scene; her family was, as you could say, very…um…together? Her mother had Tenten's little brother in a headlock and her father was already lunging at her.

"HOW WAS YOU'RE DAY!?" her mother screamed, as her brother broke loose and grabbed the nearest chair.

"Fine!" Tenten grunted back, blocking a heavy shower of punches thrown by her father. Every family does thing their own way. Tenten's family trains…twenty four, seven. "IF YOU DON'T MIND, I NEED TO GO CALL NEJI!" she howled.

"NO FAIR!" shouted her brother. "SHE JUST IS TRYING TO GET OUT OF DINNER CHORES!"

"YOUR SISTER IS A NINJA!" Tenten's father snapped at him. "SHE CAN CALL HER FRIENDS, UNLIKE YOU WHO HAS NOT YET PASSED YOUR EXAM!"

"I'M NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH!" he screamed back, tackling his father to the ground with a bat in his hands.

Tenten quickly dove upstairs and when she finally reached her room, sighed in relief. She grabbed her super NINJA phone and dialed Neji's phone number.

"Hello?" came her teammate's voice. "Tenten?"

"Tenten's on the phone, too?!" Lee's voice gasped.

"Are you two three-way calling me?" Tenten asked.

"Lee and I were already talking." Neji sighed. "Anyways, what did you want to talk about? Wait, no…let me guess…Gai?"

"You two need to stop talking badly about our great sensei!" Lee snapped. "He's the greatest!"

"He never gets out of our business!" Tenten cried. She paused at the sound of a small explosion downstairs and continued. "Why did he escort us home again?"

"How should I know?" Neji grumbled. "But it's bothering me, too."

"He needs time away from us." Tenten said suddenly. "He's suffocating us!"

"Gai-sensei just cares." Lee sniffed.

"That's right!" came a sudden voice from another line that made all three of them jump. "I sure do."

"Gai?!" Neji shrieked in a girlish fashion. "What are you…how are you…?!"

"Everybody hang up!" Tenten screamed. At the same time, they slammed the phones down.

"This can't be happening!" Neji said through gritted teeth.

"Gai must be stopped!" Tenten vowed.

_Team 8 (Later that day)_

That night, the three stumbled back with the lingerie in hand. Hinata and Kiba had gone along with Shino for…moral support. The three walked up Kurenai's porch to her front door and knocked loudly.

"Is she home?" Kiba mumbled.

"I hope so!" Shino said, shaking uncomfortably. "It can't even look at this bag any more! The memories of today will scar me till the day I die!"

"Calm down, Shino." Hinata said. "She'll come."

Yet a minute went by without anyone coming to the door.

"Can't we just break through the window?" Kiba whined along with Akamaru.

"Th-th-that's…!" Hinata stuttered nervously. Kiba ignored her and walked to the nearest window.

"It's not locked." he said. "Come on!"

"She's a top class ninja with a possession obsession." Shino sighed. "Don't you think she'd have security to stop intruders from getting inside?"

"I'm already in." Kiba grinned, sticking his head out from the window. The two jumped, for they had not seen him climb through. "Come on!"

The other two followed closely to Kurenai's room to drop off the bag. Shino had already found a sticky note to explain that they had come to deliver it, and was looking more relieved.

"Let's just put it down…" Hinata mumbled, sticking closely to Kiba. "I don't wanna get in trouble."

"Hey look," Kiba said, turning back around to her. "Papers."

"Don't touch those!" Hinata cried rather loudly. She slapped her hand across her mouth in shock then whispered. "Those are hers! Leave them alone!"

"Whoa," he mumbled. For some reason, Kiba was unusually fast today and was already looking at the papers. As he read, his eyes widened.

"What!" Hinata hissed. She grabbed his throat. "WHAT IS IT!?"

After Kiba recovered from the strangling, he cleared his throat and showed the papers to her.

"Look at her debts!" he gasped. Hinata screamed.

"What!" Shino gasped, dashing into the room. "What is it?!"

"TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!" Hinata shrieked. "This is unbelievable!"

"This is worse than we thought!" Kiba snapped. "We have to do something!"

Hinata was hyperventilating, clutching the papers tightly. "What do we do?!" she gasped. "They'll take her stuff away; take her house away! She'll…she'll…!"

"What will she do to us!?" Kiba stammered. "We have to stop her from buying things! Fast!"

_Team 7_

The suspense was killing them; they had to break into his house. Quietly that night the three snuck into their teacher's backyard. As they hid, Sasuke turned around and faced the two of them.

"Okay, guys." he said seriously. His sexy, twelve-year-old hair was messed up from the stress and wonder of the secrets Kakashi's house beheld. "Kakashi will be out any minute. He goes for a walk at 9:76 every night…sh!...there he is!"

Their teacher opened his front door and brushed something off his clothes. After glancing nervously to make sure no one was there, he pulled out Ichi Ichi Paradise and strolled away. The three remained still for a moment more, and then stood up.

"Quick!" Sakura whispered. "Open the door!"

"I can't do that!" Naruto hissed. The two glared at him.

"Why!?" Sasuke hissed back. The stress and suspense was too much for him.

"I don't know how to open a top ninja door!" he answered. "I don't know the secret this door beholds!"

"You broke into a top security building and stole a valuable scroll in episode one!" Sakura snapped. "You weren't even a ninja yet! Why is this any different?!"

"There's no guard!" Naruto argued. "If there was I'd be able to…"

"I say we ram his head into it until it breaks." Sasuke said suddenly. Sakura, who was in no mood to argue, grabbed Naruto immediately.

After yet another Sasuke plan ends in success, the three crept deeper into Kakashi's home. Naruto, who was nursing his bleeding head, sniffed the air and cringed.

"It smells like wet dog." he exclaimed. Sakura and Sasuke sniffed, too.

"Ew, you're right!" Sakura moaned.

"Smells like twenty dogs." Sasuke added. "It's strong!"

Naruto stopped dead. "It's not twenty dogs…" he began. The other two turned around to see Naruto pointing at the corner of the living room, looking frightened.

Kakashi's house was filled with dogs. Maybe one hundred dogs filled the room in beds and couches. Most were sleeping, but awoken at the sound of their voices.

The three froze in a panic. The dogs were staring straight at them, unmoving and silent.

"Nice doggy…" Sakura mumbled nervously. "Come on guys! We have to leave go!"

The two nodded and began to turn towards the door. "See ya', doggies." Naruto giggled awkwardly. "_Open the door before they eat off our faces_!"

Sasuke turned to the doorway but stopped. Standing in the room, eyes wide from shock, was Kakashi.


	2. Making Plans

Author's Notes: Now that the strange behaviors have been discovered, what will the students do

Author's Notes: Now that the strange behaviors have been discovered, what will the students do? Yeah, whatever.

The power totally failed while I wrote this last wee so a lot was deleted against my will. That made me really discouraged so I didn't work on it much after that. Good thing I got it done, though!

Chapter Two

Making Plans

_Team 7_

Kakashi stood there, too shocked to speak. The three intruders froze in a panic,

also unable to speak.

A small dog barked and popped out of the collar of Kakashi's jacket.

Naruto began frantically looking around the room hoping to get an idea. Finally he looked at Kakashi.

"How'd the hell did I end up here?!" he cried.

Kakashi still stood frozen, unable to move. Sakura and Sasuke, however, turned back to their teammate with panicked, unmoving smiles on their faces.

Naruto began winking at his confused friends furiously. "Sakura, Sasuke," he said, his voice strained. "I didn't know you guys sleep walk like I do!"

Still frozen, Sasuke managed to say, "Oh, yes we do."

"Wow!" Naruto grinned nervously at Kakashi. "I even dressed myself, too! I gotta stop doing that! Kakashi, where are we?!"

Sakura blurted, "I've never seen this place in my life!"

"Let's get back home and change those locks on our doors so we don't ever end up in mysterious places again." Naruto said quickly. "See you tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei!" The three nodded and dashed past the still frozen teacher that stood there. They grabbed the door handle and leaped into the streets, running madly until they reached the park several streets down. Once there, they doubled over in exhaustion.

The three, without another word, walked home separately in awkward silence.

_Team 10_

The three came together the next morning with their pockets filled with Asuma's cigarettes that they had…ahem…stolen. They had decided the night before that they'd find every cigarette that Asuma owned and, being that it was still early, they figured Asuma would be still asleep for a while and not notice them missing.

"We're bringing a happier, healthier lifestyle to our good sensei." Choji said. "There is no guilt in what we've done."

"You know," Shikamaru began. "We have got to be the unhealthiest team in Konoha."

"That's not true!" Ino snapped, emptying her pockets into a small box Shikamaru had brought with him.

"Face it; we have a kid, me, who doesn't do anything, a kid who eats too much, and a girl who doesn't eat at all. Plus we have a heavy smoking teacher. Look at Neji's team; they have Lee, who is in top shape." The three paused as dark thoughts about Lee's future demise circled in their thoughts. "Kakashi's team has Sasuke and Naruto, who's fitter than I am. Even Kiba's team is better in shape than we are."

The other two looked at each other sadly. Shikamaru, like always, was right. They continued to empty Asuma's cigarettes into the box for a while longer. They had just finished when they heard a voice from behind.

"Guys!" Asuma cried in a fearful voice. "Someone robbed me!" He stopped when he saw the box in Shikamaru's hands.

Quickly, Shikamaru slammed down the lid and locked it. Asuma began to run forward but stopped at the sound of the lock clicking. Shikamaru's face darkened as he held the box over the bridge railing.

"You wouldn't!" Asuma snarled.

"I would." Shikamaru said. "And I will."

"I'd just go fish them out." Asuma shot back.

"This box isn't waterproof." Shikamaru said. "They'd be all destroyed."

"There's about twenty-six packs in there." Choji added. Asuma froze.

"We won't drop them unless you do something." Ino informed him. Asuma looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Quit." Shikamaru said.

"What?!" Asuma snapped. "I don't have to take this!"

"But these do?" Shikamaru said, shaking the box slightly. "If you promise to quit I won't drop them." Asuma looked up, hopeful. "But I'd have to give them away." he added, making Asuma's face fall again.

"Come on," Ino pleaded. "You could die with this lifestyle you have!"

"And in return," Shikamaru suddenly said. "We'll do the same."

Asuma blinked, confused. "You'll stop smoking, too?" he asked. "Wait…what?"

"No." Shikamaru said. "We'll start becoming healthier, too."

"What are you doing?!" Ino whispered.

"Ino will start eating again."

"_I'll what_!?"

"Choji will lose a few pounds."

"_What's wrong with the ones I have_?!"

"And I'll start exercising." Shikamaru ended. "We'll all make a change."

As Choji and Ino gaped at the traitor, Asuma gasped with shock.

"You seriously mean it!?" he gasped.

"Yep." Shikamaru nodded. "We promise."

Asuma began to think about this…and really hard, too. For the past few months he had gotten complaints about his team being not "physically" well. Even after Shikamaru had become a chuunin, the complaints had continued. Was this a way out of it?

He cringed but nodded. "Fine." he agreed. "I'll do it."

_Team Gai_

Neji and Tenten had asked Gai to come see them in the park that afternoon. As Gai sat there, face to face with his two students and smiling, Lee was pacing nearby with a worried look on his face. He had known about their plans and was worried sick about them, but something made him hesitant about stopping them.

"So, my kind, loving student," Gai grinned. "What are we hear for? You want to learn some of my moves? Comment on my good looks?"

Neji blinked. "No." he said slowly.

"We need to talk to you about your…problem." Tenten said suddenly. Slowly, she reached for an envelope and held it out for Gai to take.

Smiling, Gai opened it and took out a fancy looking piece of paper. He read it silently, then, when he was done, looked up at them, confused.

"What's a…_'restraining order_?'" he read aloud.

"It means you can't come near us." Neji said. "Or an ANBU squad will come to our aid." Tenten and Neji moved a few feet away, looking satisfied.

"And beat you." Tenten added.

Gai looked utterly crushed. "I can't see you again?!" he gasped.

"Chill out, Gai." Tenten said. "The order only lasts a week."

It seems that when the three presented the idea to the Hokage and his staff, they were more than happy to give them a restraining order. It seems that they…don't like Gai very much. But because Gai WAS their teacher, they could only give them one with a limited time lapse. Therefore, it only lasted seven days.

"It's only long enough for you to learn your lesson." Tenten explained.

"My…lesson?" Gai sniffed. "What lesson?"

"TO GET OUT OF OUR FREAK'N BUISNESS!" Neji suddenly exploded. The burst of unusual, out-of-character behavior clearly showed Neji's…passion about the subject. "I spend my nights thinking I'm seeing you staring at me over my bed in my nightmares." He stuttered.

"I am standing over you." Gai said casually. Tenten and Neji went pale.

"That's why we need you to keep a distance." Tenten mumbled.

"Or we'll renew that!" Neji threatened, pointing to the papers.

"You people are so mean to sensei!" Lee sobbed, unable to keep silent for much longer. "I won't leave you, Gai-sensei!"

"Lee," Tenten sighed. "We put your name on the order, too."

As Gai franticly looked over the order again to make sure it wasn't right, Lee burst into tears. "Is it true, Gai-sensei!?" he wailed.

Sadly, Gai nodded, looking crushed.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Dear lord, not this again." Neji grumbled. "Come ON, Lee!"

Tenten quickly grabbed Lee around the waist and, being as strong as she was, lifted him onto her shoulder and began to walk away from a very broken-hearted Gai. He sat there, watching them leave with the papers clenched in his hands.

"No law will ever stop me from protecting my students from the horrors of the universe!" he vowed. "I will not let this stop me!"

_Team 8_

The three rookies sat there in the sun all day, not quite sure what to do. They had been sitting in silence for three hours until Shino began to scratch fiercely at his head.

"I…can't take the silence anymore!" he gasped. Hinata jumped in terror at his outburst and grabbed Kiba's arm.

"What's happening to him!?" she screamed. Shino's magic bug flew out from his sleeves and began flying in clumps around his ears, making a strange, loud buzzing sound that made Shino relax. Hinata began breathing fast again.

"Don't scare Hinata like that!" Kiba snapped at Shino while trying his best to claw Hinata off.

"We have no ideas!" Shino stammered. The trauma from the day earlier had made him strangely more, how you say, fidgety. In an awkward way, too. Shino had never been this jumpy. As he sat, twitching, Kiba sighed.

"I weep for you, man." he mumbled.

"What are we going to do!?" Shino cried. "I don't wanna go back to that place again!"

"Victoria's Secret?" Kiba asked.

"Don't speak it!" Shino hissed.

"I don't know why you think it was so bad." Kiba grinned. "I went with you…it wasn't that bad."

"Shut-up, Kiba!" Shino gasped. "YOU didn't have to ask a lady what a thong was!"

"You could have asked me, ya' know." Kiba sighed. "I kinda known what they are. It's no secret."

He stopped because Shino was staring at him, mouth-opened. "You sicken me, Kiba." he snapped.

"Shino is right though…" Hinata mumbled but panicked suddenly. "I WASN"T TALKING ABOUT THONGS!" she cried. The two shushed her, looking embarrassed. Several people walking by stared oddly at Hinata, who went red in the face.

"Why was I right?" Shino said, suddenly serious. He sophisticating-ly adjusted his glasses.

"I meant we needed to find out a way to stop Kurenai from spending." she whispered.

"Oh, yeah!" Kiba cried. Akamaru popped his head out of Kiba's jacket and barked.

"Wait, guys!" he suddenly cried. "Akamaru says he has an idea!"

Hinata and Shino stared as Kiba awkwardly began "conversing" with Akamaru in a series of barks, howls, and other dog-like noises. After he was done, he turned back to them.

"He says we should take her…what was that again?"

The two began barking…again. When they were done and Hinata was practically hidden in her shirt with embarrassment, he spoke again.

"He says we should take her credit cards away." he said.

"Her _what_?!" Shino coughed. "That's…!"

There was the sound of a thump besides them; Hinata had fainted.

After the two managed to bring Hinata "back", she began shaking violently.

"We can't do that!" she stammered. "That's st-st-st-stealing!"

"We have no other choice," Kiba said. "Akamaru's right. We have to go with that."

"But we…" Shino began.

"Look, do you have a better idea?" Kiba snapped. The two turned red and looked away.

"Fine." Shino mumbled, trying to look dignified. "We'll go with that." The three shuddered as they began to leave for Kurenai's house.

_Team 7 (Later that evening)_

The team had discussed their plans but walked back to Kakashi's house with heavy hearts. When they arrived, they fought over who was and who wasn't going to knock on the door.

"I say Naruto does it." Sasuke said.

"No way!" Naruto snapped. "I saved us last night! If I hadn't played dumb who knows what would have happened! Sasuke can do it."

"Hey!" Sakura snapped. "We want YOU to do it!"

"I don't wanna do it!" Naruto whined. "I really…REALLY don't wanna!" He glared at them. "Besides! You two made me into a battering ram yesterday! We broke his front door!"

"He got a new one!" Sasuke snapped.

"But I don't deserve to do something like this again. You _owe_ me!"

"Fine." Sasuke sighed. "We won't let you knock on the door."

"Thank you." Naruto smiled, satisfied.

"So we'll use your head to knock it." Sasuke finished. The two grabbed Naruto once more and pounded his head (slightly more lightly this time).

After few minutes of no one answering, Sasuke grabbed a sad and hurt Naruto again and knocked his head into the door. "Hello!?" he bellowed, angrily. "Kakashi-sensei! Come out now!"

"No!" came a sad sounding voice inside. Howls and barks followed Kakashi's wails.

"Kakashi, we need to talk." Sakura sighed. "Please come out."

"I'm not home!" Kakashi snapped.

"Yes you are!" Naruto cried. "Now get out here before my forehead splits open!"

For some reason after he said that, Kakashi poked his head out from the door. He looked at the door again and began crying again. "You made my new door bloody!" he winced.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke sighed. "You have too many dogs."

"I do not!" Kakashi snapped.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried. "You have TOO MANY dogs! You can't take care of this many! The law could take them away!"

"You can't own this many in your house." Sasuke sighed. "They could arrest you."

Kakashi gaped at him. "I'm a good owner!" he gasped. "I'm not…I'm…"

"You need to give them up for adoption." Sakura said sadly. Naruto looked down sadly, too. After all, Naruto was an animal lover, too.

"I'd take one!" he said suddenly. "Or two! I'll help you bring your dogs to a new, good, loving home! We'll find them good families!"

"He's right." Sakura smiled.

"I can't…!" Kakashi gasped. "I…I love them all! I could never give them away!" He suddenly disappeared inside his house for a moment and came back out with a small puppy in his hands. He held it out to Naruto, who winced at its cuteness.

"This is my newest little guy!" he stammered. "I love him! How could I let him go!?"

Naruto began crying too. "I…he's really cute!" he stammered and hugged the little dog. "If you want…I'll take this one!"

"Good lord…" Sasuke groaned. "This is ridiculous!"

"Look at him, Sakura!" Naruto whimpered. "He's so cute!"

"Do you understand my problem!?" Kakashi cried.

"Yes!" Naruto sobbed. "I do, I really do!"

"Stop that!" Sasuke hissed. "You're not helping, Naruto!"

"I…I'm just trying to solve this problem with _compassion_!" he snapped. He turned back to Kakashi and nodded sadly. "You do need to give them up. I'm sorry…"

Kakashi's mouth dropped. "Traitors!" he snapped. "How could my own students betray me!?"

"We'll find them loving families!" Sakura cried. "We'll hold an adoption party in the park! People can come and look at them and take them home!"

"Not to my home!" Kakashi snapped. "Where they should be!"

"Kakashi…" Naruto whimpered. He held up the little puppy. "Think about it…it's the best thing you could do for the little guys. They'll go to families who can actually afford food for them! In places where they won't be so cramped with other dogs! With a family who loves them!"

"You can still keep two or three." Sakura said. Kakashi was silent. He was still looking at the puppy Naruto held.

"You…" he began. "…you really think it's for the best…?"

"Yeah." Naruto said. Kakashi looked crushed.

"Al…alright…" he said at last. Sakura put her arm around his shoulder. "I'll…do it. For my little guys…"

_Team 8 (That night)_

Hinata sat about three feet away from her teammates who sat looking at the thousands of credit cards they had found. They were alone in the dark, empty park, looking at their prizes.

"She…has so many!" Kiba gasped. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"Did we miss any?" Shino asked. Hinata whimpered fearfully. She wanted no part in this horror.

"I'm going home…" she mumbled. "I'll…see you tomorrow…"

"Night, Hinata." Kiba called after her. He looked back at her. She had stopped walking.

"You okay, Hinata?" Shino asked. Hinata said nothing and remained turned away from them.

"Oy! Hinata!" Kiba called. "You okay?"

"You won't be for long!" came a murderous voice as Kurenai shoved her way past Hinata in rage. "Give me back my credit cards…!"

Author's Notes: One of the cutest moments Naruto has ever had (in my opinion) is the episode with Haku's bunny rabbit. I loved the concept of him being a sweet little animal lover. Poor Naruto, he wants to let Kakashi keep them all but he just can't. And good lord poor Kakashi! I'm so sorry for doing this to you, Kakashi! Really, I am!

Asuma is just creepy with this whole thing…

Ever watched Animal Cops, that show on Animal Planet? Ever seen those crazy people with 1,000,000,000 dogs on that show? That's how I think Kakashi's house looks like.


	3. Making Progress

Author's Notes: HA! I wasn't being lazy! I was actually getting this done! And I did! So there!

Chapter Three

Making Progress

_Team 8_

Slowly, Shino and Kiba turned the cards away. "What credit cards…?" Kiba stammered.

"The ones I SAW you stealing on my security cameras!" Kurenai hissed. Her students groaned.

"I thought I asked you to check for those!" Shino hissed.

"I didn't feel like it!" Kiba snapped. He stopped suddenly as Kurenai tried to swipe her cards away from them.

"No!" Kiba ordered. "No credit cards! Bad sensei, bad!"

Kurenai snarled at him. "I…need…those!"

"You can't buy anything for a while." Shino said. "Until your debts have been paid, at least."

Kurenai gaped at him. "How did you know about…?"

"We found your bills…" Kiba said sadly. "Sorry…"

Kurenai was speechless. "I…can't…"

"Kurenai-sensei…?" came a meek voice from behind. Hinata looked pale and nervous. "Maybe…you and I…could talk about this…"

"Did you steal my cards?" Kurenai snapped.

"No…I didn't…" she mumbled. "But…"

Kurenai looked at Hinata, then at her other students. "Fine." she said. "I can play this game. Come, Hinata, let's go."

Fearfully, Hinata looked over at her confused teammates as she walked on.

_Team 10_

It was day one of the new, healthy lifestyle. They were walking to buy new shuriken at the local Ninja Mart, receiving odd stares from the many people who knew them. Asuma, who was now a bit jittery and white-faced, walked silently with no cigarettes in his pocket or his mouth. Shikamaru, with the same bored look on his face, now held two weights, one in each hand, and was pumping them up and down to tone his noodle-like arms. Choji held no potato chips in his hands and looked sadly at his only tiny bag of carrot sticks. Ino now held Choji's bag of chips and looked disgusted at the fact that she was eating. Both Choji and Ino glared at Shikamaru from behind with disgust.

"Wow…" Asuma mumbled. "I can…breathe. Is that fresh air?"

"Yes." Shikamaru said. "It's good for you."

"It's making me feel weird…" Asuma grumbled.

"Eating's making me feel weird." Ino snapped. "My stomach feels funny…"

"It means you're full." Choji sighed. "A feeling I miss ever so…"

"How are you doing, Shikamaru?" Ino sneered sarcastically. "Having fun lifting weights?"

"Yes, I am." Shikamaru snapped, hiding the fact that his arms were about to fall off.

"People are looking at me…" Asuma whispered. "I think at all of us!"

"We're doing something good." Shikamaru said. "And now since Asuma doesn't smell like tobacco and…whatever else he smoked, people will enjoy being around us more."

"I…guess…" Choji sighed. "Can I have more carrots?"

"No." Shikamaru snapped. "You've had enough."

"Can I have…one potato chip?" he begged.

"No."

"Just one…?"

"No!" This time Asuma snapped. "If I can't have smokes, YOU can't have chips!" Choji squeaked fearfully; the unusual burst of anger was…strange, even for Asuma.

"Hey, look!" Ino said suddenly. "Something's going on in the park!"

The others looked to see balloons and decorations all over the usually peaceful park.

"What is it?" Choji asked.

"I see a banner…" Shikamaru said. "It's says…a puppy adoption?"

"Can I see the puppies?" Choji whined.

"Choji…" Shikamaru groaned.

"I promise I won't eat them!" Choji cried. "Honest!"

"I think we could grace the many citizens with our presence." Asuma sighed. "I might even be interested in a little guy, myself."

The four all nodded and crossed the street to the busy park.

_Team 7_

Kakashi sniffed sadly as a little girl walked off with her new puppy. Beside him, Naruto sighed, heavy-hearted.

"Sorry, sensei." he said.

"Yeah…" Kakashi sighed. "I just…I miss them."

"Only ten of them have been taken." Sasuke sighed.

"_Only ten_…?!" Kakashi snapped. "Those are ten I'll never see again!"

"With all these dogs," Sakura pointed out. "You'll see them everywhere you go. It isn't goodbye."

"I adopted them all…" Kakashi sniffed. "At least twice a night I'd visit the shelter."

"That's sweet, sensei." Sakura smiled.

"And I always fell in love with one or two or three!" He said, trying not to cry. In the sadness, Naruto snatched a small puppy and hugged it. "I even brought one home the night you guys came into my house!"

"We're sorry." Sakura sighed. "But look how happy everyone is!"

Kakashi grumbled. "No one cares like I did." he snapped.

"They're good families who will take care of them." Sasuke snapped. "Chill out, already!"

"Hey!" came a sudden voice. The team turned to see Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, and Asuma walking towards them. And they all looked…different somehow.

"Hello." Sakura said quietly. "What brings you guys here?"

Asuma scratched his chin and looked over Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi watched his every move closely.

"I was kinda thinking of adopting a dog." Asuma said finally. Kakashi jumped slightly, looking disturbed.

"Are you guys running this thing as a mission?" Ino asked. "This looks like a fun one."

"It's _not_!" Naruto snapped angrily. Not wanting to explain himself, he added, "I'm going to go get a drink or something." And he sadly shuffled away.

"What wrong with him?" Choji asked.

Sasuke and Sakura shrugged. They couldn't really answer that question.

"So, Sasuke," Ino said suddenly getting _awfully_ close to Sasuke. "Maybe when you're done here…we could go out to lunch. I'm eating now, you know."

"The hell…?!" Sakura screeched. "Back off, missy!" she threatened.

"Or wh…" Ino began but the sound of a loud…noise of some sort started them.

"No!" Kakashi hissed as Asuma picked up a medium-sized dog. "No, no, NO! No dogs for you!"

"Chill out, Kakashi!" Asuma cried. "I thought they were up for adoption."

"They are but not for YOU!" Kakashi snapped, baring his teeth. "You'll give my babies LUNG CANCER!"

"Kakashi, calm down!" Sakura cried, trying to pull Kakashi away from attacking Asuma's face. "He can adopt, too!"

"No!" Kakashi growled. "I won't let him!"

"You're Asuma's friend, Kakashi!" Sasuke shouted. "You can trust him."

"He is my friend," Kakashi foamed. "But I will not let my babies live in his _filthy_, smoky house!"

"I'm quitting!" Asuma cried. "I really am!" Kakashi ignored his cried and lunged at him. The students backed away.

Naruto, who now was sipping on a tasty ninja energy drink thing, walked up behind them.

"What happened?" he said calmly, looking at the sad scene in front of him.

The others shrugged. They couldn't really answer that question.

_Team 8_

That day, when the team met to discuss…things, Kurenai announced that she had decided to follow along with the students' plan. Kiba and Shino were speechless.

"Hinata!" Kiba hissed. "How did you…how could you…?"

"Hinata's talk with me earlier made me realize you were right after all." Kurenai said seriously. "She's _very _persuasive." Hinata blushed, smiling slightly.

The two gaped at their friend for a moment more, and then turned to Kurenai.

"You won't spend anything?" Kiba said.

"Yep."

"Just on listed, money-saving groceries?" Shino added.

"Hinata and I already made a few lists and cut out coupons."

"You're sure?" Kiba asked.

"You're positive?" Shino asked.

"Yes!" Kurenai snapped. "I will not buy anything! I promise."

"Kurenai-sensei won't go back on her word." Hinata said quietly.

"Right-o!" Kurenai grinned, looking satisfied. "That's my favorite student!" She patted a startled Hinata on the back.

"What about us…?" Shino mumbled sadly.

"I mean, hey, how hard could it be?" Kurenai sighed. "Alright, let's go train."

The three nodded, looking relieved that the conversation had gone well. They all ran off to not buy things.

_Team Gai_

To make a long story short, the restraining order did not work. Gai did not bother to pay any attention as to how far he was from his students. And every time he got too close, a squad of ANBU agents jumped out to attack him. However, Gai's will to "protect" his students from the "elements" was far greater than the others' will to destroy Gai. And to sum it all up, the brawls were the cause of many fallen walls, broken bridges, demolished houses, and torn-up restaurants. Several civilians caught up in the mixes were sent to the hospital for both physical and mental injuries.

The constant destruction in the past…day began to upset some of the higher-ups, including the third Hokage. And he wasn't happy.

"I'm not happy." the Hokage said as the team walked into his office. "You're costing us thousands of ninja monies in repairs."

"We're sorry." Tenten sighed. "We just…"

"Lee! Lee!" Gai cried from the other side of the room. He was heavily wrapped up in restraints. "Watch me rip outta this straight jacket!"

Lee looked away looking broken and sad.

The Hokage looked at Gai awkwardly, then at Neji. "Find another way." he said.

"But…!" Tenten gasped. "How…!?"

"Figure it out!" he sighed. "It IS your problem."

"We'll do it." Neji sighed. He grabbed Gai's twenty-foot-long leash and motioned for his teacher to get up off the floor. Gai wobbled from the lack of arms, (well, he is in a straight jacket after all…) and skipped happily out the door. Even if he had to stay away from them, the leash made him feel like…like his students were there.

The team left as the sun began to fade. "Now what?" Tenten grumbled. "He wasn't any help at all!"

"He is right, though." Neji sighed. "It is our fault. We just need something…better."

"I think we should forget about the whole thing." Lee mumbled, bitterly. "We should give Gai-sensei a break."

"No!" Tenten and Neji snapped.

"He needs to learn his lesson!" Tenten spat.

"How are my favorite students back there!?" Gai called from twenty feet away. He walked oddly, like a torso with legs.

"Fine." Neji groaned. Gai turned back, satisfied.

"He only cares!" Lee argued.

"He cares too much!" Tenten shot back.

"He's trying!"

"He won't do what we say!"

"He doesn't want us to get hurt!"

"He's gonna get hurt!"

"Guys!" Neji suddenly interrupted. The two looked at him, surprised by the outburst.

"I think I know a way to get him to leave us alone." Neji whispered. "Come with me, I'll explain." Sneaky-like, he tied the end of the leash on a pole and motioned the others to follow him. By the time Gai felt the jerk of his harness and realized that no matter how fast you walk you never go forward, the students had vanished.

_Team 7_

Naruto held a little dog in his hands. It was the same one Kakashi had adopted and brought home the night they had snuck into his house. Kakashi stood before him, looking serious.

"Naruto," he said darkly. "This one's Buster."

"Buster?" Sasuke choked. "That's a stupid na…"

"I will let you adopt Buster only if I can visit him every day" Kakashi said. "And I think you are the best choice for a daddy that he'll ever get."

"I understand." Naruto said, just as serious. Further away, Sasuke and Sakura were packing up the adoption tables and putting all the dogs still there in their cages. Sasuke sniffed, annoyed by the two's behavior.

"Buster." Naruto said quietly, looking the cute thing in the eyes. "You shall not ever be ignored. I will never leave you. I will never stab you. You shall find your new home filled with love and…love."

Kakashi nodded sadly. Naruto looked up at him then added, "And your grandfather, Kakashi, will always come to visit you. So don't be too sad to leave him."

"Dear lord…" Sasuke grumbled. Sakura said nothing. She watched them, feeling sorry for her teacher.

Kakashi looked at Naruto. "May I…say goodbye?"

Naruto handed him the puppy sadly. Kakashi took it, and without another word, patted him on the head.

"Goodbye, Buster." he sniffed. He looked back at Naruto and handed Buster back. Naruto looked back at Kakashi.

"He'll never forget your kindness." he said, crying.

"Hell no." Sasuke growled suddenly. He grabbed Naruto (and Buster) over his shoulder and began to walk away.

"Naruto, you need to go!" he snapped. Naruto, looking heartbroken, waved back at Kakashi.

Kakashi grabbed a near-by chew toy and hugged it.

"Come on," Sakura said quietly. Kakashi looked at her. "Do you want me to walk you home, sensei?"

"I'm fine." he said. Sakura nodded.

"Then I'm heading home." she told him. "Good-bye."

Kakashi waited till she was gone, then straightened his back. He looked back at the sleeping dogs in their cages and frowned. He waited a moment more, and then walked home.

Author's Notes: Note terribly long, but this is another slow one. By the next chapter, it'll start to get good.

And remember, I will never stab you.


	4. Making Problems

Author's Note: Hey, I finished it! Finally. And I'm proud!

Oh gawd, what will happen next? I like this one a lot. This start getting interesting!

Chapter 4

Making Problems

_Team 7 (Naruto's House)_

It was three days later from the first day of the adoption event. Today had been the last day of the adoption, ending with every dog taken to a good home. Naruto sighed as he set down a plate of food for Buster, his new puppy, who was welcomed happily into his home. Naruto smiled at Buster but the thought of Kakashi sitting at home alone made him feel bad. Kakashi, too sad to see his dogs go, had refused to keep even one dog. Naruto petted Buster who looked up happily from his food.

Tired from the past few days, Naruto stood up and yawned, stretching his arms up. "I think I'll go to bed early today." he mumbled. "You should, too, after you finish eating." Buster gnawed at a ramen noodle in his bowl. I mean, I never said the dog food was store bought. Naruto made it himself with…noodles and meat.

Sleepily, Naruto crawled into bed and began to fall asleep.

About a couple minutes later, Naruto opened his eyes, suddenly alert. _Did I hear something just now?_ he thought. He closed them again. _Perhaps it's only Buster, going to bed._ He snuggled into his pillow again, feeling _pretty_ silly.

A moment later, he sat up. _Buster sure isn't going to bed,_ he thought.

"I'd better go check him." he said to himself. Slowly, he got up and walked to the door.

"Buster?" he whispered in the dark room. He couldn't see anything. Quietly, he reached for the nearest light switch and turned it on.

When light filled the room, Naruto gasped. The window was wide open and the food bowl was turned over, spilled on the floor. A chair was turned over and someone had spray painted a picture of a unicorn on the wall. Naruto stepped back in horror.

"Someone kidnapped Buster!" he cried as ominous music filled the room. Overhead, thunder cracked epically.

_Team Gai_

The next day, the three got their approval from the Hokage to put Neji plan into motion. And so, Gai now sat on the park bench, looking at a metal ring around his ankle.

"It's a shock bracelet." Tenten explained. "If you come anywhere up to ten feet of

us, it'll shock you painfully until you move away. We have some on us that don't shock us but warn us if you're approaching by beeping."

"For special cases," Neji explained. "We can press this button on our bracelets so you can come near us. This is incase we're in trouble on missions or something and need your help."

"It's an extreme restraining order." Tenten added. "One you cannot tear off your leg. It's unbreakable."

"Only we can take it off your leg." Neji said. "And when that time comes, that'll be Lee's job."

Lee was as pale as a ghost. "I can't believe you guys!" he cried. "This is so mean and inhumane!"

The other two glared at him. They were beginning to get annoyed with Lee's comments.

"I kinda like it." Gai grinned, twisting his ankle to the light reflected off the bracelet's metal. "It's stylish."

"We knew you would." Neji sighed.

"It's like…kinda like friendship bracelets, right?" Gai asked them.

"Uh…sure." Tenten said slowly.

"Oh boy!" Gai grinned. "This mean's we're best buds now!" He jumped up excitedly and lunged at Neji for a huge glomping hug.

Neji, who would have cringed and leapt out of the way on a normal day, did not even so much as budge from his spot. He looked almost bored and uncaring about the oncoming hug. Tenten, who could tell what was happening, stepped back.

As Gai lunged forward, he suddenly stopped short and fell to the ground. "Hooooooooooooooooo snap!" he gasped, twitching on the ground. "It…hurts!"

Neji and the others backed away until Gai stopped screaming and sat up, looking terrified.

"What was that!?" he gasped. "The forces of nature tried to stop my teacher-ly hug!"

"You weren't paying any attention to when I was explaining the bracelet, were you?" Neji snapped. "It's a _shock bracelet_! It shocks you painfully if you get too close to us!"

Gai gasped. "No!" he breathed.

"Yes." Tenten mumbled. "Now sensei, we're off to go train. You go…somewhere else."

"Someone has tainted your minds!" Gai shouted suddenly. "Who was it to make you do such horrible things?"

"No one." Neji sighed. "Sensei, you need to understand we need personal space."

"Tenten's enemies won't give you personal space!" he snapped. "Whatever '_personal space_' is…"

"I don't have enemies!" Tenten howled. Lee dove forward and grabbed her to stop her from attacking Gai's face.

"Gai," Neji snapped, trying to hold an angry, PMS-ing Tenten still. "If the restraining order didn't work, this has to. You need to learn your lesson and fast."

_Team 7 (The next morning)_

"Guys!" Naruto cried as he ran towards Sasuke and Sakura the next morning. "Buster was kidnapped last night!"

"What?" Sakura said, her attention from Sasuke's sexy, flowing, glossy, duck-butt hair shifting to Naruto. "How could that happen?!"

"It was about…ten' o'clock or sometime around then." Naruto wheezed, breathing heavily from his frantic running. "I looked all over the area around my house! I found no clues!"

"Nothing?" Sasuke asked calmly.

Naruto nodded. "And this morning I heard a lot of the other dogs are missing, too!" he cried.

"Kakashi's dogs?" Sasuke said. "Only the ones we let people adopt?"

"Yeah." Naruto nodded.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Sasuke asked, glancing at Sakura.

"I don't want to, but…"

"You think it was Kakashi?" Naruto whispered. Sasuke nodded.

"Let's go pay him a visit." Sasuke said calmly.

The three quickly raced to Kakashi's house. Once there, Sakura knocked on the door as the others waited.

The door creaked open and Kakashi stepped out. "Guys?" he said, confused. "I wasn't even ready to leave and do something to get me late for our training. Why are you…?"

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply. "You still have a good sense of smell, yes?"

_Well I am part fox_, he thought but remembered the others didn't know that and kept quiet. He nodded.

"Sniff for Buster's scent." Sasuke commanded. Naruto frowned.

"I'm not Kiba, Sasuke." he snapped. "I'll just smell for dogs."

"What are you doing?" Kakashi snapped as Naruto, with nose to floor, walked past him sniffing the room. "I don't have dogs anymore, remember?"

"A lot of your adopted dogs were kidnapped last night." Sasuke said. "We think you took them."

"What?!" Kakashi shrieked. "My babies were…?!"

"Buster was kidnapped, too." Sakura added. "Right while Naruto was sleeping."

Kakashi's mouth dropped. "Who could have done such a thing!?"

"You could." Sasuke snapped. "We already said we think you did it."

Naruto suddenly was really close to Kakashi, looking thoroughly at his jacket. Finally, he looked back at Sasuke.

"There's no dog smell in the house." he said. "And no smell or dog hair on Kakashi. He'd at least smell a little like a dog, but he doesn't."

"Kakashi didn't do it?" Sakura gasped. Kakashi's eye(s) swelled with tears.

"Who could have done this?!" he repeated.

"Who could it have been?!" Sakura asked as the three students joined in a sort of "thinking circle" type thing.

"It must be someone who hates Kakashi," Naruto suggested.

"Or someone mad at him." Sasuke mumbled, deep in thought. Finally, a light bulb appeared over his head.

"I think I have an idea," he said. "But I have no evidence to back it up. It's only a theory."

"Then who?" Sakura asked.

"The only person I can think of right now who could be angry about the dogs and Kakashi is…"

_Team 11_

"Asuma-sensei!" Ino called. "Over here!"

The students waved at their teacher who was late for another day of training. Since he had started quitting, he had been late for a lot of things, but today he was almost an hour off from meeting time.

As he approached, his students cringed. He was paler than before, with dark circles under his eyes and cheek bones that stuck out from his face. He looked a total mess and, in their eyes, not normal for Asuma to look.

"I feel like shit." Asuma mumbled.

"This is the hardest part of quitting." Shikamaru sighed. "It'll be worth it."

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Choji asked, looking at his face.

"No." Asuma mumbled. "I was busy."

"With what?" Ino asked.

"None of your business." Asuma snapped angrily.

"Let's smell your breath." Shikamaru said. "Just to make sure you weren't _sneaking_ anything." Asuma turned to him and huffed loudly into Shikamaru's face. Shikamaru cringed and stepped back.

"Is there anything?" Ino asked.

"No." Shikamaru said, covering his nose. "But he hasn't brushed."

"Ew, sensei!" Choji gagged. "Here, have a mint." he reached into an empty pocket that once held his beautiful chips and pulled out a small, measly mint. Asuma grabbed it savagely and gobbled it up beaver-style.

"That was good…" Asuma mumbled. "What was it?"

"Nicotine mints." Choji said simply. "I bought them for you this morning. They help you quit. You become addicted to them instead of cigarettes."

"Nice idea, Choji." Shikamaru commented. Choji smiled, because no one praised him for his ideas on a usual day.

"But, isn't he still addicted to something?" Ino asked.

"Yeah, child friendly mints." Choji snapped. "What could happen from that?"

The others turned to see Asuma, who had just shoved the entire container of mints into his mouth, now choking on a mint.

But Choji knows a thing or two about choking on your food, so he was able to save him in no time flat, also gaining more praise.

"Sensei…?" Ino began as a tired and angry-looking Asuma stood up. "Are you…?"

"This is a waste of time!" Asuma snapped. Wobbling, he began to walk away. "Lesson canceled! I'm going h-home."

"Are you alright?" Choji asked.

Asuma ignored him. The three watched as their cranky, withdrawing teacher stumbled away towards home.

_Team 8_

Kurenai sat on the ground, looking terrified. Her students were coming to meet her for yet another day of training. She had gotten here early, as she had been all week, since there was nothing else to do. Her students looked rather please this morning, and came holding papers in their ninja pouches.

"Sensei!" Kiba cried. "Look! With that money we got for the 'Save Kurenai!' thing we did the other day, we paid off a good chunk off your debts!"

"Good, whatever," Kurenai said, shaking and rocking back-and-fourth. "Listen, I need more money for groceries."

"Huh?" Hinata asked, confused.

"We took you grocery shopping yesterday." Shino informed her. "A week's supply, too."

"Whatever, I need more." she stammered, getting up on trembling legs. "I…ate them all."

"You did not." Kiba snapped.

"I need more." she said, more sternly this time. Still, her students shook their heads.

"I don't think you do." Kiba sighed, arms folded. Kurenai twitched. "You can't fool us…"

Kurenai suddenly lunged at Kiba, grabbing his arms and pulling him so that the two were nose-to-nose.

"LISTEN!" she shouted, threateningly. "There's a new, pretty pair of shoes that just went on sale at my favorite store today and they only have fifty pairs to sell! I need to get them before everyone else buys them first!"

Kiba was silent for a moment, possibly too shocked to speak. The other two stood silent like he was beside them.

Finally, Kiba found his voice. "Sorry, sensei…" he said.

Kurenai looked up at him with hollow eyes. "Yeah…" she said quietly. "I'm sorry, too…" She slowly stood up and walked towards the training grounds.

"Coming…?" she said, her voice airy and odd sounding. The three exchanged nervous glances and followed.

Once they reached Area 3, their usual training area, Kurenai, who was still acting odd, motioned them to get closer to a wooden training dummy near the river. The dummy was a tall, wide wooden training device that was broken up in horizontal slices that swung around when hit. Each piece had a narrow pole that stuck out and tried to behead you when it came around. You had to get crazy ninja on it just to survive. So right as they got closer to it, Kurenai slapped the top stick which made it swing around and brutally slam into Shino's skull. He grabbed his head sadly and fell over.

Kurenai slapped two more around, one hitting Hinata had in the arm and one smacking right into Kiba's gut. The three made sad faces and toppled over with Shino. Those things hit _hard._

"Training is over." Kurenai said, her voice cold. "You three are dismissed."

And just like that, she left. Hinata stood up and brushed off the front of her pants with her hands.

"These lesions get shorter and shorter, don't they?" she said quietly.

"I wonder what she's up to." Kiba mumbled.

"You think she's up to something?" Shino asked, still rubbing the back of his head.

"She is acting weird." Hinata admitted. "What should we do?"

"If she's up to something," Shino sighed. "I suppose we should keep an eye out for anything else she does."

Kiba and Shino nodded towards each other in understanding. Hinata, however, watched the exit that Kurenai had left from, looking unsure.

_Team 7 (Later at Naruto's House)_

The three sat on the messy, untidy floor in Naruto's bedroom. Naruto looked sadly at Buster's uneaten dish near the doorway.

"If it's not Kakashi," Sakura muttered. "It has to be someone who hates Kakashi. That's a given, since only Kakashi's dogs were taken."

"Our biggest suspect is Asuma," Sasuke sighed. "There could be more than that, but he has a plausible motive."

"Which is?" Naruto asked.

"Kakashi wouldn't let him adopt." Sasuke explained. The other two leaned in to listen. "Kakashi beat him up in the park yesterday. That must've hurt Asuma's pride badly. Also, as Shikamaru told me, Asuma's quitting smoking."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sakura said suddenly.

"Shikamaru told me Asuma's going cold turkey." Sasuke told them.

"Aw…" Naruto sniffed suddenly. "Buster loved turkey…"

"Naruto." Sasuke snapped. "Forget about Buster, will you?"

"How could I do that?" Naruto snapped back. "Buster Uzumaki was my family! What is he's cold and hungry and sad…?"

"Buster Uzumaki?" Sasuke repeated.

"So?" Naruto sighed. "What about Asuma again?"

"'Cold turkey' is like having withdrawal." Sasuke snapped. "It makes people act different. They feel sick, get depressed…you know."

"Oh." Sakura gasped. "So that's why you suspect him!"

"I don't get it." Naruto mumbled.

"Asuma gets depressed." Sasuke said slowly. "Asuma loses cigarettes. How do think he'll act?"

Naruto thought about it a moment then went completely pale. "Oh gawd, Buster!" he cried. "I have to save him!"

"He'd…!" Sakura gasped.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Sasuke muttered.

"Think about how Kakashi feels." Sakura said, looking at Sasuke. "He's gonna go after whoever did it."

"That's also what I'm afraid of." Sasuke sighed.

"Buster…" Naruto gasped. "I miss him…"

Sakura, who would have slapped Naruto in any other situation sighed instead and said, "It'll be okay, Naruto."

"We need to stop Asuma!" Naruto shouted suddenly.

"No." Sasuke said sharply. "We only have a theory. Not evidence. We can't accuse him yet."

"We should investigate tomorrow." Sakura said. "It's late."

"Yeah, okay." Naruto mumbled bitterly. The others said goodbye and left Naruto to mope alone.

Outside, walking home, Sakura looked over at Sasuke, who was silently thinking things over. "We'll find something tomorrow." she told him.

"Yeah, whatever." Sasuke sighed. "'Night."

Sakura blushed. Sasuke was saying goodbye to her! She felt _so_ happy. Quickly she turned back to him to say goodnight only to find that Sasuke had already left, and she was awkwardly alone. Frustrated, she left for home, unaccompanied.

_Gai's House_

Angrily, Gai tore at his bracelet, yet it did not break. "Stupid device of separation!" he yelled at it. It did not talk, as he soon realized. He lowered his head in defeat. It was no use.

It was late and his students were all at home. Well, they could be anywhere. He could not follow them anymore, so how should he know?

A sound of a strange beeping noise made Gai suddenly alert. He grabbed a toothbrush and pointed it in the direction of the noise. "Who's there?" he called. "Show yourself!"

"Gai-sensei?" came a low voice. Gai lowered the toothbrush to see Rock Lee, poke his head from the doorway.

"Lee!" Gai gasped. "It's you!"

"Sh!" Lee whispered. "Don't get any closer or the bracelet will go off!" Gai's happy meter went down a little.

"I came to give you something." Lee whispered. He tossed something on the floor at Gai's feet. Gai looked down at it, then up at Lee; or rather, a now empty doorway.

Dazed, Gai reached down and picked up the object. He turned it over, unsure of what it was. Suddenly, it came to him. It was a key for disabling the shock bracelet!

Gai looked up again to thank Rock Lee, but he remembered Lee had left. Suddenly, a smile came to Gai's face. This key could be very useful…

Author's Notes: Spooooooooooooky!

Good lord, Lee sure is _sneaky!_


	5. Making Enemies

Author's Note: Yay! It gets exciting!

Chapter Five

Making Enemies

_Team Gai (Next Morning)_

Tenten first noticed Lee coming that day. He looked down, and he stared at his feet sadly. She waved at him, a gesture he did not return.

"What's wrong, Lee?" Neji asked him. "You look like you're guilty of something."

Lee looked up, panicking. "I did nothing!" he said quickly.

"Calm down, Lee." Neji sighed. "It was only a joke. Good morning."

"Good morning…" Lee mumbled.

"You feeling alright?" Tenten asked him. Lee looked up.

"Oh yes!" he said with fake enthusiasm. He did a run in place thing to show his energy. "I'm fine! Happy as a clam! Couldn't be better!"

In truth, Lee was feeling guilty from his late night actions. To think he gave Gai a key to the bracelet. His teammates would be furious. He couldn't tell them about it, but it bothered him.

"At least _you're_ energetic." Neji sighed. "I kept having nightmares last night."

"Oh?" Tenten asked.

"Of what?" Lee asked excitedly.

"Him." Neji said, his face dark with terror.

"Gai-sensei?" Tenten asked. Neji nodded.

"I know he has the shock bracelet," he muttered. "So he can't come near me. I made sure not to take mine off. But I kept seeing him standing over me again. My bracelet didn't beep and he wasn't screaming, so it had to be a dream."

Lee's face drained of blood. "Oh crap…" he whispered. The others looked at him.

"What was that?" Tenten asked. "Did you say something, Lee?"

"No!" Lee screamed. "Get…get…get off my case, woman!" When he realized what he had said, he slapped his hands over his mouth.

Tenten was so shocked by hearing Lee actually act aggressive, she forgot to beat him up. Even Neji gaped at him.

"I…should go." Lee said suddenly. "Really…"

"Why?" Neji asked. "Lee, what's wrong?"

Lee spun around with a murderous, out-of-character look on his face. "Nothing's wrong, _She-Man_!" he spat. He covered his mouth again. He was so nervous, he was blabbing all his secret thoughts out.

Neji was shocked by this but this time, remembered to sock Lee in the face.

"I'm sick." Lee gasped, wiping blood off his chin. "Neji, smack my head again, really hard. Harder than you did a second ago!"

"Huh?!" Neji gasped. "Why? Didn't you say you were sick? How does this help?"

"It'll help me think." Lee said calmly.

Because Neji seemed to be taking his sweet time, Tenten pushed him aside and walloped Lee for him. Hard.

"Wow!" Lee cried. "Thanks, Tenten! That was so good, my skull cracked!"

"Anytime." she smirked. Lee happily skipped off to think with his now severe concussion. All was well…for now.

_Team 11_

Asuma did not show up for the next day's training. This troubled his team greatly, who began to worry about him.

"He's not taking it well." Ino said suddenly. "Maybe we should give up."

"Healthy…lifestyles." Shikamaru snapped. He was lifting weights again, only now his noodle arms had puffed up into sexy muscles. Although the others were not happy with their results in this experiment, Shikamaru found now his fan girl count was higher than ever. He had no objections. Choji and Ino, however, did.

Choji now had lost twelve pounds, and was still dropping them. Ino had gained twelve pounds and now could not bear to look at herself anymore. Now, in fact, she looked normal and not a twiggy stick. The other boys in Konoha liked the change, but Ino, who was too busy not liking it, could not notice this. Even Choji was getting more fan girls. _Choji_! No one could believe it. Of course, he was oblivious to this as Ino was. But Shikamaru loved the attention. Now that he was becoming sexy, he didn't want ugly friends. No, no, just kidding. Shikamaru isn't a jerk. That last part was so made up, just now. You should have seen the look on your face. Anyways, moving on…

"Let's go check up on him." Choji said. "Just to make sure he didn't kill himself or anything."

The two didn't even look surprised by that statement. They could _so_ see that happening.

And so they all went on a journey to Asuma's house just to make sure he hadn't hung himself from his back porch.

When they finally got down to Asuma's street, Ino suddenly shushed them. "Sh!" she gasped. "Get down before he sees!"

"Huh?" Choji gasped. "Who?!"

The others looked forward and saw what she had seen. Asuma was standing on the side of the street with someone else they could not recognize. Quickly before anything else could happen, they all grabbed two twigs and held them up. With the power of combining ninjas with twigs, they become Bush Ninjas, the sneakiest thing on the planet. And they look like ninjas with two sticks.

Well, once they looked over at their teacher, they saw him hand the other man a large wad of cash. The man said something to Asuma that made him look disappointed, but he nodded. The two shook hands in a business-like way, and then the man left Asuma. Asuma looked around the street suspiciously then took off.

"The hell?!" Choji blurted as Asuma ran like the wind for an unknown location. "He's sneaking!"

"We can't assume that, Choji." Ino snapped. "There's a lot of reasons he did that just now."

"He was buying coffee." Shikamaru said suddenly. Choji and Ino stared at him.

"Coffee?" Ino asked.

"Sure, why not?" Shikamaru shrugged. "We don't know what it was. Let's call it coffee."

"Just until we have a talk with him." Choji snapped.

Shikamaru slammed his fist into his palm and cracked his fingers angrily. "Exactly." he growled. "A 'talk.'"

"Asuma…" they growled threateningly. And with that, they ran off after him to murder him.

_Team 7_

"I knew the adoption was a bad thing." Kakashi snapped that afternoon as they searched the village for clues. Kakashi was in an unusual bad mood that day. But he seemed to feel better once he tore everything in front of him apart. Even after two days, they had found nothing that helped them, and Kakashi was getting nervous.

Kakashi calmed down a little and looked at Sasuke. "Do you really think its Asuma?" he asked.

"We can't be sure." Sasuke muttered. "He's the most suspicious."

"But Asuma and I have been friends since we went to the academy." Kakashi told him. "Well… at the time we weren't exactly 'friends' but…" he shook his head. "I changed. I've become a better person since then."

"We'll find who it is." Sakura informed him. "Hopefully, Asuma won't have to take the blame."

"Yeah…" Kakashi mumbled. "I know he can get…Asuma-like, but he's not a bad guy. I can't see him doing this."

"Kakashi!" Naruto suddenly shouted. "Do you think Buster's okay?!"

Kakashi suddenly teared up again. "I hope so." He sniffed.

"Buster!" Naruto wailed. "I miss you!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke bellowed. "Don't shout out like that unless you find anything!"

"Honestly, Naruto!" Sakura scolded him. "We need clues!"

"Fine!" he snapped. "I'll look over here!" He stomped off angrily.

"I hope we find something…" Kakashi sniffed.

"They couldn't have vanished." Sakura told him. "They're somewhere, I can feel it."

"Kakashi," Sasuke said. "I think we should split up. You may know something so you may know where to look. I'd like you to go alone. If you find ANYTHING, do not take action. Find us and show us. I can't afford you hurting someone again."

Kakashi looked at him oddly; it was strange taking orders from your own student, but he shrugged and waved goodbye to them.

"You three going together?" he asked before leaving.

"Yeah." Sakura told him. "You okay?"

"Yeah." he answered and left.

"Is Kakashi okay?" Naruto asked once he joined them once more.

"I hope so." Sakura mumbled. "I really do…"

_Team 8_

Hinata, Shino, and Kiba didn't even bother showing up the next day. They had all Kurenai's credit cards locked with ninja-bank-safety, so they didn't worry about her spending. They were more afraid of their teacher's bad mood than anything. They stayed home either under their beds or locked in their bathrooms. None of them understood why, but they all felt a feeling of impending doom.

After noon past, however, they all left the safety of their homes to find each other in the park, since they usually hung out there when training was canceled or they had tried to hide from Kurenai. Finally, they had found each other and they all sat down on a wooden table near a large tree. For a moment, none of them spoke. Hinata sighed and looked at them, trying to break the awkward silence.

"How was training?" she asked.

"Didn't go." Kiba mumbled as Akamaru whined inside his jacket.

"Didn't go." Shino replied as well, his spooky bugs buzzing in his jacket.

"Sounds like you didn't go either." Kiba sighed. Hinata groaned, but nodded.

"I couldn't." she mumbled. "I hope Kurenai-sensei isn't mad…"

"When will the debts be paid off?" Kiba whined to Shino. Shino adjusted his sunglasses in a very serious-like way and cleared his throat.

"If we keep paying them at this pace I believe they should be paid off in…one year."

Akamaru growled.

"What!?" Hinata stammered. "A year?!"

"We can't keep doing this for a year!" Kiba snapped.

"Kurenai-sensei's gonna be mad…" Shino sighed.

"She's gonna be mad we didn't show up for training." Hinata sighed. "This isn't good at all. Maybe we should go apologize."

"You kidding me?" Kiba sneered. "You wanna go apologize to her?!" Akamaru made an odd snorting noise.

Hinata went pale, but nodded slowly.

"She may be right." Shino said finally. "We won't know till we try."

"Or till she rips off our heads." Kiba added.

Needless to say, the three finally decided to visit Kurenai anyways. Though her house was not far from the park, the walk to her home was long and heavy. Each of them were filled with dread and anxiety. But when they had finally reached it, they straightened their postures and tried their best to look calm.

Shino was the brave soul who decided to knock on her door, but after another few minutes, no one came.

"She's never home anymore." Hinata sighed.

"Is the door unlocked?" Kiba suggested. "Maybe she's home and ignoring us."

Shino shrugged but jumped suddenly and backed away from the door. The door had popped open and was swinging ominously in the wind.

"Kur-Kurenai-sensei…?" Hinata stuttered. "Is everything okay?"

"Are you home?" Shino called. "Your door's open. That's weird for you."

"You okay?" Kiba called. Only silence followed.

"I'm worried." Hinata whispered. "Is she even here?"

"If she is, there's something wrong." Kiba said grimly. "I'm worried, too."

"We need to find her!" Shino snapped, his nervous out-of-character behavior returning. "She likes to sit in her room. Maybe she's asleep or something."

"That's odd…" Kiba said suddenly. He pointed at Akamaru who sniffed a strange door at the end of the hallway. The door was open slightly, but a dim light was visible from where they stood.

"Is that her basement?" Hinata asked.

"I'll bet she's down there." Kiba grinned. "Good work, Akamaru!" The small dog barked happily, for he had done something worthy.

The three slowly made their way down the stairs. Other than a small lamp, the room was pitch dark and hard to see. Hinata shivered and clung to Kiba's arm as they peeked into the room.

"Sensei?" Shino whispered. "Is something wrong?"

"You in there?" Hinata added.

"Hey guys!" Kiba said suddenly. "I found a light switch." The was the sound of a small click and the room lit up. For a moment, they adjusted their eyes to the light. But once they laid eyes on the room, grave silence followed.

The walls were covered in scratchy writing that read various name brands and shoe stores. The three marveled in the odd but very cheesy joke of _The Shining._

"Kurenai-sensei…lost it!" Shino gasped. "She's insane!"

"Oh my goodness!" Hinata cried. "We need to leave!"

"Why would you do that?" came a very scary voice from behind. The three turned very slowly to see Kurenai, pale-faced and thin. "You came to visit, did you not?"

The three dashed past her, screaming like animals and waving their arms in the air. The ran out the door and to the "Kurenai-is-PMS-ing" shelter they built two months ago in case this ever happened.

_Team 11(Later)_

When they finally found Asuma, they practically jumped him in anger. Asuma, who wasn't suspecting anybody to attack him, managed to throw his students off him. As he tried to get away from them, however, Ino reached in her pocket and pulled out a long piece of tough beef jerky. She lassoed it and tossed it at Asuma's ankles. They wrapped around and tightened, causing Asuma to fall on his face.

"Talk, Asuma-sensei!" Choji snarled. "Look at us and talk!"

Asuma made a strange grunting sound and managed to pick his face out of the dirt. When he turned to them, they gasped.

Asuma was covered in dog hair, scratches, and bruises. The three stared

awkwardly at him, unsure what to say.

"Asuma!" Ino managed to whisper. "Your…face! What happened?"

"I was attacked by a dog this morning!" he grunted. "Why is that so bad?"

"I likely story!" came a sudden voice and three figures leapt from the nearby bush.

_Uh…Team 7 jumps outta a bush…_

"Sasuke?" Shikamaru blurted. "Where did you…?"

"Asuma!" Sakura shouted. "Have you heard of the missing dogs in the village?"

"Huh?" Asuma stammered. "Dogs?!"

"Gimme back Buster, you fiend!" Naruto howled, lunging at Asuma. Sakura managed to grab Naruto in time to hold him back.

"What is this about, anyways?" Ino snapped. "Go away! We need to talk to Asuma alone!"

"How dare you!" Naruto yelled at her. "We are investigating!"

"I don't care, Naruto!" she yelled back. "So are we!"

"Our investigation is more important!" Naruto argued.

"Naruto, please!" Sakura snapped. "Calm down!"

"I didn't kidnap dogs!" Asuma grunted.

"That's odd." Sasuke suddenly said. "We never told you we accused you about kidnapping them."

"He did!" Asuma snapped, pointing at Naruto who viciously clawed at Asuma.

"Go away!" Choji snapped. "We have to talk to Asuma!"

"About what!?" Asuma grunted, sounding angry.

"We saw you!" Choji yelled. "You're sneaking!"

"I am not!" Asuma yelled.

"Bust…ER!" Naruto growled. "Give…him…BACK!"

Asuma was strangely red in the face and nervous now. "I didn't take your dog!" he bellowed. Without another word, he jumped up and took off. While they had argued, he had managed to tear the jerky off his ankles.

"Now look what you've done!" Shikamaru shouted. "He got away! It took us forever to get him!"

Shikamaru stopped. Sasuke and the others had run off after Asuma, leaving them alone.

_Team Gai (That evening)_

Lee was busy thinking all day. When Neji and Tenten found him again, he was busy pondering by the river.

"Is something wrong, Lee?" Neji asked. Lee looked up at him, looking sad.

"You guys…" he said quietly. "I have to tell you something…"

"What is it?" Tenten said, sitting down next to him. Lee looked down at the water.

"I did something I'm not proud of…" Lee said slowly. "You're gonna be mad."

"We already secretly hate you." Neji pointed out. "I'll bet this isn't going to change the way we feel about you at all."

"Thanks, Neji." Lee sighed happily. "You always know how to make me feel good."

"So…" Tenten said. "What is it?"

Before Lee could speak, a shadow loomed over the three of them. They turned to see Gai, standing a few feet away and grinning.

"Sensei?" Tenten asked. "What's wrong?"

"You okay?" Neji asked him. Gai said nothing and only stood there.

"Hey!" Neji yelled. "Sensei! Wake up!"

Gai grinned even wider (If that _is_ possible…) and took a step forward. He took another…then another…but nothing happened.

"Oh no…" Lee mumbled, going pale.

"Hey!" Neji grunted. He looked down at his bracelet on his ankle. "Is this thing broken?!"

Suddenly, Gai dashed forward and grabbed Neji. Holding Neji above his head, he gave an odd battle cry and dashed off as fast as he came.

Tenten jumped up. "The shock bracelet didn't work!" she gasped.

"He kidnapped Neji!" Lee shrieked.

Without another word, the two raced off after them. However, once they turned the corner onto the next street, the Gai and Neji had disappeared.

_Team 7 (That night)_

The three doubled over in exhaustion. They had been chasing Asuma for hours now, only to find themselves on a dark and empty street.

"Where did he go!?" Sakura mumbled, frustrated.

Sasuke looked around them quietly. Finally, he stood up straight.

"Look at that!" he said quietly. Naruto and Sakura looked to see what he was pointing at. A few feet away was a building; a small looking facility with a faded sign.

"That used to be the place Kakashi adopted his dogs." Sasuke said. "It went out of business right after Kakashi stopped adopting."

"I'll bet our adoption thing put it out of business." Naruto said suddenly. "Maybe someone working there may have taken them!"

"Naruto!" Sakura gasped. "That was really smart! You just did something intelligent!"

"I did?" Naruto gasped.

"Maybe, however…" Sasuke mumbled. "Asuma is still very suspicious."

"You don't think he…went in there?" Sakura said slowly.

"It's out of business." Sasuke muttered.

"He could keep them there easily!" Naruto gasped.

"Naruto, you're on a role today!" Sakura gasped. "What happened to you!?"

"I have no idea!" Naruto stammered.

"We lost Asuma on this street…" Sasuke said. "And that's the only place he could hide. We need to check it out!"

The three dove into the old shelter and began looking.

"There's not a lot of space to hide all the puppies here." Sasuke admitted after a few minutes of searching. "I don't think…"

"Buster!" Naruto gasped. Sasuke and Sakura looked at him. Naruto was pointing at the ground. A small chew toy laid there.

"I gave Buster that!" Naruto gasped. "It went missing when Buster did! I just thought it was somewhere around the house!"

"He's been here!" Sakura gasped. They looked up. The toy was landed right in front of a door.

"A basement!" Sasuke gasped. "Come on!"

The three raced down the stairs, Naruto holding on to the toy closely. Finally, at the end of the stairs, there was a door. Light escaped from the bottom cracks.

Slowly, Sasuke opened the door. The room was filled with cages and inside them, the missing dogs.

"We found them!" Sakura whispered.

"Buster!" Naruto gasped and dove into the room. He stopped by a small cage that held Buster. Buster pawed the door happily at the sight of Naruto. Naruto quickly opened the cage and pulled his puppy out.

"We did it!" Sakura gasped.

"So it WAS Asuma!" Sasuke snapped. He's probably here somewhere, too!"

"I'm afraid he's not…" came a strange voice from above. Slowly, the three turned to see someone standing on top of a mountain of crates, his hands on his hips.

"Kakashi!?" Sasuke stammered.

Author's Note: PLOT FREAKING TWIST! Seriously, guys! How come half of you didn't predict this? It's not that surprising!

Bush ninjas are from some old show. I can't remember, I haffta look on Google…

…okay, I couldn't find it. I can't remember the name of the show, or even if they were called bush ninjas. But I remember they were ninjas who held up two sticks and called themselves "hidden". I don't know. If you know it tell me!


	6. Making Attempts

Author's Notes: Only two more chapters to go

Author's Notes: Only two more chapters to go.

Sorry this took so long. I had a lot on my plate and I still do, in terms of crazy events and schedules. Bear with me, these last two chapters may take some wait. At least by the beginning of September life should be better.

Chapter 6

Making Attempts

_Team 7_

Naruto grabbed Buster defensively. "Sensei?" he gasped. "How…how could you!?"

"We checked you!" Sakura snapped. "How could you hide from us?!"

"I've been hiding this for years!" Kakashi snapped. "You'd think I wouldn't have a way to hide dog hair and smell?"

The three thought about it for a moment, and then felt really stupid.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke snapped. "People adopted those dogs with papers! Give them back now!"

"Those were fake." Kakashi sneered. "Fake documents. No one really got any of them."

Naruto's jaw dropped as he looked down at Buster in his arms. "I'm not you mommy?!" he gasped.

"They're all mine!" Kakashi laughed crazily. "Mine, mine, mine! You fools thought you'd won! But I was always one step ahead!"

"Kakashi!" Sakura grunted through clenched teeth. "Give them back to their owners!"

"No!" Kakashi shot back, immaturity dripping from his voice.

"Then what do you suppose you're going to do with them?" Naruto snapped.

"We're going to stay here, forever!" Kakashi laughed. "Forever and ever! And ever and ever and ever and ever and…"

"You mad man!" Naruto cried. "Doggies need lots of sunlight and exercise to stay healthy and strong. With out it, they'll get sick, lonely, and worse yet fat!"

"You care about their safety?" Kakashi asked him. "Then you'll let me keep them. All of them; or I'll run away and never come back! And I'll take them with me! Even…BUSTER!"

And as Naruto and every Buster fan who reads this story gasped in horror, Kakashi whipped out a scary remote from his back pocket. He laughed through his mask and pressed the big 'ol shiny button in the middle. The ground below them catapulted them upward though a trap door on the ceiling out to the outside world.

_Team 11_

"Asuma!" Shikamaru shouted in the dark night. They had been searching for him all day, and now, as it had turned night, they scrambled in the dark to find him.

Before long, they found a street were they heard the familiar sound of Asuma running from a mob.

"Sakura and the others must still be chasing them." Choji groaned.

"He'll be coming this way soon." Ino whispered. "Stay quiet!"

The three crouched down again and waited to pounce as Asuma ran past. But after a moment later, they realized he wasn't coming…yet.

"Is he…talking to someone?" Ino whispered. "I hear another voice."

"What are they talking about?" Shikamaru asked.

"I can't tell." Ino mumbled. "I wish I could."

"Maybe it's that dealer from before." Choji suggested. "We can jump out and catch him in the act!"

"Good idea!" Ino grinned. The three crept closer to the corner where the two talked on the other side. They waited a moment, in awkward silence, then…

"We gotcha!" Choji shouted, waving his arms like a strangled poodle.

Asuma jumped. He stood alone, with no other person next to him. He did, however, quickly hide something behind his back.

"Was there someone here?" Ino demanded.

"Good lord!" Asuma ignored her. "You and those other kids keep chasing me around!"

"Yeah." Shikamaru muttered. "They said you stole dogs because you had dog hair on you."

"Where DID that come from?" Choji agreed. "You think it's related?"

"Holy crap!" Asuma fumed. "Didn't I already tell you guys? I was attacked by a dog!"

"You weren't lying!?" Ino said, sounding strangely surprised by the answer.

"Oh course I wasn't!" Asuma snapped. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Hold it!" Shikamaru grunted. "You're not off the hook yet!"

"What are you hiding behind your back?!" Choji sputtered.

"Nothing!" Asuma snapped.

"Nothing?" Ino questioned him.

"Okay, coffee." Asuma lied.

"_You liar_!" Ino howled, becoming vicious.

Shikamaru used his shadow jutsu to hold Asuma in place. Once Asuma realized he could not move on his own, he grunted in frustration.

"How dare you!" Asuma hissed. "I'm your sensei!"

"It's for your own good." Choji told him.

Shikamaru moved his hands out, and the controlled Asuma did the same. He tried to fight it, but found even he could not. In his hands was the thing he was hiding; Cuban cigars.

"You cheated!" Ino spat.

"You can't have them!" Asuma foamed wildly. "They're mine!"

"Ino, take them from Asuma." Shikamaru told her. She nodded and began to silently approach him.

"No!" Asuma wailed. "I…won't…let you…!"

As Ino was just about to grab the cigars out of Asuma's hand, Asuma broke free from the control with all the Asuma-power he could muster. He closed his hand around the cigars and dashed past Ino, straight to Shikamaru. He slammed his palm into Shikamaru's neck, knocking him out. He then grabbed him by the waist and fled off, faster that the other two could run.

"Holy fudge!" Choji screamed. "He got Shikamaru!"

"He's gonna smoke his cigars!" Ino gasped. "He'll go nuts!"

Choji suddenly began to cry. "I don't want Shikamaru to die!" he sobbed. "He's my only real friend!"

"Let's go after them!" Ino told him, and the two raced off.

As then went down the street in the cold night, they saw Tenten and Rock Lee racing towards the opposite direction. As the passed, they stopped quickly.

"Asuma-sensei kidnapped Shikamaru!" Ino cried.

"Gai-sensei kidnapped Neji!" Tenten gasped.

The two teams kept running their directions.

_Team Gai_

"How could this happen!?" Tenten cried, as the two ran madly down the street. "Did it break? Did the bracelets stop working?"

Lee was red with worry. Slowly he gulped and looked at Tenten.

"Stop, Tenten." he mumbled. When they both stopped, he lowered his head and muttered, "I know why the bracelet didn't work."

"You do?" Tenten asked, surprised.

"I felt bad for sensei!" Lee cried. "I thought I had to do something!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tenten interrupted. Lee took a long breath.

"I…gave Gai a key to the bracelet." Lee finally said. Tenten's face dropped.

"I just thought…!" Lee began, but Tenten suddenly ran right at him and in seconds, had put him in a headlock.

"You…horrible…waste of human being…!" she grunted as she pulled painfully on Lee's ears. He scrambled his arms wildly like a poor dying bug into the finger of and evil, evil bug-hating child.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, but still Tenten continued to kick his ass. Finally, she calmed down enough to get off him, but she grabbed his wrists in pinned him to the fence on the side on the path.

"What are we supposed to do!?" she demanded. "Any ideas, genius?!"

"We…have to find them." Lee managed to say. "We can negotiate something with him!"

"Do you know who we're talking about?!" Tenten cried. "_Gai-sensei_! The man can't even live in society without 'guidance' let alone negotiate matters!"

"I know!" Lee gasped. "I'm really, really sorry!"

"Poor Neji!" Tenten mumbled. "This is your fault! He should have kidnapped _you_!"

"And I interrupting something?" came a voice from down the path. The two turned to see a young chuunin ninja standing a few feet away, who was noticing that Tenten had pinned Lee to a wall. He looked a little…confused.

"No." Tenten managed to say, releasing Lee from her mighty grip. "Not at all."

"Are you Rock Lee and Tenten of Team Gai?" he said slowly. The two nodded.

"Is something wrong?" Tenten asked.

The man took a deep breath, and then said quietly, "Your sensei is causing mayhem in the village."

Tenten was silent for a moment, then grabbed Lee by the neck and began strangling him. The young ninja managed to tear the two apart before Tenten could inflict…major damage.

The chuunin quickly took the two to the market, close to where Naruto's favorite ramen stands were, and of course the local Ninja K-Mart. The three stood in the middle of emptiness and ruin for a moment, examining the damage.

"I see the mess…" Tenten whispered. "But where is sensei?"

"Look!" Lee cried, pointing to a building behind her. Quickly, Tenten and Lee looked up at the roof where Gai stood, his face painted in a war-paint-type way. Duct tape was wrapped around him torso and taped to his back was Neji, who struggled to break free to no avail. Duct tape means business.

"Sensei!" Tenten snapped. "Get down right now and give Neji back!"

"You…tried to tear us apart!" Gai laughed crazily. "You tried! But if we cannot be together, then Neji will be my student forever and never, ever, ever leave me!"

"Oh, gawd!" Neji moaned. "Someone help me!"

"Give Neji back!" Lee mumbled. "Sensei, this isn't right! Bring him back!"

"NEVAH!" Gai howled, and crawled spider-like up the next building until he reached the top and climbed on the roof, unable to be seen.

"What are we going to do?" Lee cried. He turned to the chuunin for help, but found that the sissy had already run away in fear. Lee looked fearfully over at Tenten, who glared at Lee with intense hatred.

"You'd better hope we can get him back!" she snarled and pulled out her trusty grappling gun. She shot it at a roof top, grabbed Lee by the head, and zipped into the sky.

_Team 8_

After a few hours, the three decided it was okay to come out into the open once more. In fact, it was like the entire day they had been hiding in that shelter, but hey, it probably saved their lives.

Quietly, they snuck out through the trees to find their ways home. The plan was to get there as safe as possible, meaning they shouldn't try and run into Kurenai again.

Just as they were running down the street, they saw someone running their way. A young chuunin ninja darted quickly down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. When he spotted them, however, he quickly stopped before them.

"Are you Team 8?" he asked, out of breath from running. Slowly, they all nodded.

"Something urgent has happened." he managed to say in his calmest voice. "I'll need you to follow me."

"What happened?" Kiba asked, Akamaru whining softly.

The ninja did not answer for a moment then turned back to him. "It's about your sensei, Kurenai."

Quickly, their faces went expressionless. The ninja suddenly looked fearful.

"Please, don't you guys start strangling each other, too!" he cried. They looked at him, mildly surprised, then Hinata's eyes went wide and she inched as far away from the others as she could.

"We're not gonna do that to you, Hinata." Shino coaxed her and soon enough, she inched back.

The three followed their messenger across the village through ruins and destruction.

"Did Kurenai-sensei do all this?!" Hinata cried, shocked.

"No, no," the chuunin told her. "That wasn't YOUR sensei." The others looked relieved.

They finally stopped at the parking lot of the local Konohan JC Pennys. A group of spectators stood around the opening of the building, and police lights shined on the roof. When they saw what was on the roof, their hearts practically stopped beating.

Kurenai stood, arms stretched and wide and howled crazily down to the audience, "I'll jump, dammit! Try and get me and I'll jump!"

"Holy crappers!" Kiba cried. "She HAS lost it!"

The two boys turned to Hinata, who had fainted on the cement.

_Team 7_

Naruto suddenly woke to the odd feeling of being licked all over his face. 'Twas and…awkward feeling, but when he opened his eyes, he saw Buster, cute as ever, standing by his face.

Naruto sat there for a moment until he remembered what had happened and realized where he was. Not far from where he sat was the animal shelter.

He sat for a moment, and then realized Buster was pawing at his shirt.

"Buster?" he gasped. "Buster! It IS you!" he grabbed his adorable puppy and hugged it. "Kakashi sent you out with us! We're together again!" Buster barked, happy to be out in fresh air again and together with his family. Oh the fluff…it hurts…

"Naruto!?" Sakura cried. Naruto looked over and saw Sakura and Sasuke, now trying to get to their feet. "What happened?"

"You got Buster back?" Sasuke mumbled. "How?"

"Ha!" Naruto snapped. "It never said I put Buster down after I picked him up!"

_PWNED._

"How long were we out?" Sakura asked.

"Can't be sure." Sasuke muttered. "Ow, my head hurts…"

"My back hurts…" Sakura complained.

"My butt hurts." Naruto said loudly. "I guess I landed on it. But it beats landing on your head, right Sasuke?"

Sasuke slapped Naruto over the head, and then got all serious-like again.

"Okay." Sasuke sighed. "Now that we're out, we need to go get help."

"Right." Sakura mumbled. "But who? No one's going to believe Kakashi, the calm, laid-back ninja of Konoha is going insane in an abandoned dog shelter keeping three-hundred-or-so puppies."

"We'll find someone." Sasuke said tensely. The three began to walk.

When Sakura walked to far to hear, Naruto leaned over to Sasuke. "Why do you care so much about Kakashi's dogs?" he questioned him.

Sasuke "Hn!"-ed and flipped his pretty hair out of his face. "I don't." he snapped. "I just care about Kakashi's sanity. He's our teacher after all."

"But you're the one who's all about getting help." Naruto told him.

"That means nothing." Sasuke brushed his off.

"You know…" Naruto muttered. "If I knew any better, which usually I don't, I'd say you really cared about Buster and his doggie family."

"I do not!" Sasuke sniffed, cutting Naruto off before he could go further.

"Sasuke," Naruto began. "Do you like dogs?"

Sasuke didn't answer. He hand turned his head the opposite direction and was humming something.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"You know what!?" Sasuke snapped back, rather loudly. Sakura turned back to see what was going on.

"You alright, guys?" she asked them. Sasuke nodded tensely, and then began walking faster so he did not have to stand next to Naruto any longer.

Naruto couldn't stop grinning.

_Team 11_

Ino and Choji ran all over a chaos-driven town for their sensei until they both can to an old warehouse at the outskirts of the village.

"You think he went there?" Choji asked Ino awkwardly. Without Shikamaru, (the brains of the team) they found that handling situations was far harder to do when you actually could not rely on a child-prodigy friend to do it for you.

Ino nodded to Choji, and the two carefully crept to the large, metal doors. They found them unlocked and slowly made their way inside.

They quickly found that the entire warehouse was filled with foul smelling smoke. Choji sniffed and looked at Ino.

"He's here…" he said nervously. The two crept in deeper.

No sooner had they made five steps inside, the large, metal doors behind them suddenly caught the wind and slammed shut. Choji, of course, panicked.

"HE'S GONNA KILL US!" he freaked. "Ino, do something!"

"Sh!" she hushed franticly. She grabbed his pudgy face and attempted to cover his mouth to silence him. "Be quiet, idiot! _What if he hears you_!?"

Choji managed to calm a bit, and after Asuma did not jump out attacking, they proceeded onward in the smoky room.

After looking around, they both came to a door at the end of the room. Quietly, the two opened it, looking inside with caution.

"Mmmmh!" came a muffled cry inside. Through the darkness, something moved violently. Choji, however, did not panic this time.

"Shikamaru?" he whispered. "Is that you?"

"Mmhph!" came a reply and the two walked in.

Bound and gagged in a small wooden chair across the room was Shikamaru, who was violently trying to break out. I mean, he's got those nice muscles now, right? Why not use them? But still, the ropes were too thick, and his efforts were meaningless.

"Don't worry." Choji whispered to him. "We'll get you out!"

"Choji!" Ino hissed. "This smells 'trap' all over it!"

The two looked down at the floor to see a waiting net ready to catch them.

They both tiptoed around it and cut Shikamaru loose. He coughed from the fumes and from the sock wadded down his throat. He looked up at his teammates and silently motioned them to an open window close by.

Before long, they were outside once again and running far away.

"That worked very well!" Choji exclaimed. "The best rescue mission we've ever done!"

"We didn't even break anything!" Ino said in wonder.

_KA-BOOM!_

The warehouse behind them exploded into a million pieces.

Startled, they all spun around in horror, watching the remains burn. And in front of the smoldering ruins, laughing like a maniac, was non other than Asuma. A tattered cloth was tied around his neck like a cape, and two bagels, strung together, served as a stupid looking mask. He held a…_is that a rake_?... yes, a rake above his head and laughing, tossed it into the flames.

He dashed away without another word.

"He's shocking his system like last time?" Shikamaru gasped.

"Last time?" Choji gasped. "This happened before?!"

"You weren't there on that mission," Ino remembered.

"Asuma-sensei left all his cigarettes in his luggage when we went to some country-or-other once." Shikamaru explained. "But on the Ninja-Mover, the attendants put the luggage in storage and told Asuma he couldn't get to it until the Ninja-Mover reached the next station of Ninja-Movers!"

"Golly!" Choji gasped.

"When he got them back he smoked them all at once." Ino told him. "He had too many at one time…it was…it…"

"What happened to him?!" Choji cried.

"He thought he was a piñata!" Shikamaru said, looking terrified. "It was awful! He tried to hang himself on a tree and asked Ino and I to beat him with a bat until candy came out."

"Did you do it?" Choji asked in wonder.

"Of course we did!" Ino coughed. "We told him later it was to knock some sense into him."

"Was it?"

"No."

"Guys," Shikamaru said suddenly. The two looked up at him, for he was not perched on a tall rock.

"Asuma-sensei is unwell." he told them. "This may be it. What we've been waiting for; a moment to shine." Still, they stared at him, confused. "We need to stop Asuma-sensei…and save Konoha by any means necessary!"

They exchanged glances for a moment, and then finally looked back up at Shikamaru.

"You're right." Choji said.

"I always am." Shikamaru corrected him.

"Let's go stop our teacher!" Ino cried and the three walked off in slow motion very dramatically.

Author's Notes: Reunited with Buster once more. But is all well with the world? No. Not yet.


	7. Making a Friend

Author's Notes: Okay, this is important. I kinda decided to end the story in a very drastic way. I just want you to understand this and **PLEASE don't get mad at me for anything here in this chapter**. Also, there is only one more chapter to go before this story is finished. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 7

Making a Friend

_Our Heroes Think_

In four separate areas of the chaos driven village, the students gathered together and began discussing what needed to be done. Team seven hid quietly in the bushes a few streets away from the shelter. Team eight sat in the back of the parking lot, all seated on the ground. Team eleven, who had been running after Asuma once more, stopped to talk in the park like always. Tenten and Lee found a spot on the rooftop of another building after losing Gai's track. Each one (plus Buster) looked very serious.

"We need help." Sasuke admitted to his group.

"And fast." Ino agreed with Shikamaru.

"But who can help us now?" Shino asked his teammates, feeling hopeless.

"We just need to think." Lee sighed, and the two closed their eyes in deep thought.

Suddenly, Naruto looked up at Sakura and Sasuke, as if he'd come to realize something.

"There is one person!" he cried, getting their attention.

"Who?" Choji gasped, looking back at Shikamaru.

"I'm not really sure this'll work…" Kiba mumbled.

"…but I've heard he's good." Tenten told Lee.

"The Hokage?" Sakura asked.

"No, not at all." Naruto told her. "But I'm pretty sure he's the only one to help us now."

_Moments Later…_

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto bellowed, running towards his old teacher's home with flailing arms. Iruka sat outside on a comfy chair, enjoying the night air. From where Iruka lived, the chaos had not yet reached his neighborhood, so he had to sense of the oncoming danger that struck Konoha. He looked up at his students, especially Naruto, and smiled. It was nice getting visitors, since teaching took up too much of his time to actually make him sociable.

"It's just Iruka, Naruto." he told his tired ex-student. "I'm not you sensei anymore. Cute puppy, by the way."

Buster looked happy for the complement and raised his adorable head from Naruto's arms to show it off. "Thanks." Naruto said simply, although in any other time he would have shown the dog off.

"We have a problem!" Naruto cried. Iruka closed his eyes.

"Did the ramen stand close early again, Naruto?" Iruka sighed. Naruto shook his head quickly.

"No, no!" Naruto cried. "Much worse!"

"Kakashi has…!" Sakura began, but the sound of yelling stopped her.

Tenten and Lee, along with team eleven and eight, ran in the same franticness as they had come before them. As they all crowded around Iruka, they all babbled and shouted all at once.

"Um, guys…?" Iruka said in a meek voice. Still, they did not hear him, for he was much to quiet.

After a moment of not listening to him, he tried an old method from when he taught them; by whacking them in the heads with a thick, heavy scroll. As they sat on the ground, nursing their heads, Iruka smiled down at them, looking a bit annoyed.

"Now, one at a time." he said slowly, swatting his scroll against his palm.

Naruto looked up at him. "Kakashi wouldn't let us in his house, so we snuck in and found a lot of dogs and we made him put them up for adoption because he had too many. I mean, way too many. Anyways, suddenly all the puppies were kidnapped and Kakashi took them all to an abandoned shelter and he won't give them back and he's gone crazy and stuff!"

"Asuma-sensei was going too far with his smoking habit so we tried to start a no-cigarette healthy lifestyle while we changed our unhealthy ways as well. But Asuma began to withdrawal really bad and he secretly planned to by some strange Cuban cigars from some dealer. And we caught him buying them and tried to take them away but he got mad, kidnapped Shikamaru, and after smoking them all at once, blew up that old creepy warehouse at the end of the village." Choji told him.

"Kurenai buys too much crap so we took away her credit cards and ran illegal fundraisers to help her with her many debts but I think she went insane because soon all the stores began to have super Mega-Sales and she wanted shoes but we said no so she drove herself mad and now she's trying to jump off a JC Penny." Hinata cried, talking very fast.

"Gai-sensei never left us alone so we put up a restraining order to keep him away but when that didn't work we gave him a shock bracelet and that stopped him for a while. But Lee got upset and he STUPIDLY gave Gai-sensei a key to unlocking it and yesterday he kidnapped Neji who is now taped to Gai's back while Gai tears the town apart!" Tenten gasped.

"What kind of tape?" Iruka asked.

"Duct tape." Lee told him.

"Damn…just as I thought…" Iruka mumbled.

"Will you help us?" Hinata cried.

"I'll do what I can." He told her. "Come with me, Kiba, Shino, Hinata; take me to Kurenai."

_Team 8_

Kurenai was still on the tall roof, threatening to jump when the four of them got there. Sales people were frantically trying to offer her deals on sales and clearance, but even this was not enough to calm the disturbed woman down. They watched her toss pop cans down onto the scared witnesses.

"How about a free pair of boots?" one woman pleaded. "Uh…uh…ninja boots?"

"Credit cards!" Kurenai bellowed, throwing down a copy-right protected can of soda onto the woman.

"A free coat?" a man asked. "Two free coats? Three? Four?"

"_Credit cards_!" Kurenai repeated, tossing down what looked like a small rock. It hit the poor man with such ninja force that he feel to the ground out cold. The paramedic nins had come to scoop him up; apparently he was not the first to have this happen to him.

"This is sad, really." Iruka said very quietly. "And to think I had a crush on her in grade school…"

"What was that, Iruka?" Kiba asked.

"I was thinking how we should get her down." Iruka lied calmly. He turned back to them.

"The reason she's up there is because you took her cards away, correct?" Iruka asked them.

"She's a shop-o-holic!" Hinata blurted. "She had to be stopped!" Her teammates looked at her oddly, for she had been the one to reject the idea in the first place.

"She was in debt." Shino explained. "And I was tired of going on her Victoria's Se-se-se-se…"

"…secret…?" Kiba finished, for Shino had begun twitching again.

"…errands." Shino said at last. Iruka raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay," he sighed. "I think I may have a plan… Does Kurenai like you guys?"

"I don't know anymore." Kiba admitted. "Probably not."

"We should still try…" Iruka sighed. "Follow me."

They shoved their way to the front of the spectators and stood near the front of the building, under where Kurenai stood. She hissed down at the people, but when she saw her students, she began to make low, growling sounds.

Iruka pulled out a mega-phone from his back pocket (God forbid why that was there in the first place…) and called up to her. "Kurenai," he shouted. "Your students have something they need to tell you." Without breaking his gaze from Kurenai, he passed the mega-phone to the person on his right; Hinata. She took it with trembling hands and slowly moved it up to her mouth.

"Sensei?" she said, the micro-phone making her voice unusually louder, which made everyone surprised. "It's me, Hinata; your favorite student."

"Hey!" Kiba snapped. Hinata shrugged.

"She told me I was." Hinata said calmly.

"Must be a girl thing…" Shino whispered back to Kiba, who looked hurt.

"Hinata can't be the favorite, can she?" he whispered back, but he noticed that Kurenai looked a little calmer after hearing Hinata's words. He dropped his head in utter defeat.

"I just wanted to say we care about you, and you're making a big mistake." Hinata continued. Shino and Kiba pulled the mega-phone towards them.

"Sensei? It's Kiba…"

"And Shino…"

"We just want to say that you're very important to us, and we don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Behind the three, the audience "aww-ed" loudly. Kurenai looked down at them mildly surprised.

"We're sorry about the credit cards." Shino added. "We only wanted to look out for you. We were afraid your debts would be too much for you to handle on your own."

"We paid off at least half of them, too." Hinata told her, after ripping the mega-phone out of the boys' hands. "We only wanted to help."

"Come down, please!" Kiba yelled. "If you jumped, we'd have no sensei to kick us around anymore!"

"Or make us run in circles." Hinata sighed.

"Or make us run errands at…at…" Shino stuttered.

"Victoria's Secret!" yelled the audience behind him. Shino nodded in thanks.

Kurenai looked odd, now. She looked both touched and confused all at the same time. But she still did not budge. Finally, Kiba grabbed the mega-phone from Hinata and looked up.

"If you promise to spend your money wisely," he shouted, but hesitated to finish. Finally he chocked out, "…we'll give you your credit cards back."

That was enough. Kurenai grinned happily and walked down the wall to her relieved students. She contentedly hugged them, and with that, they walked home along with all the spectators. Iruka smiled at them but remembering his other jobs, he dashed away as well.

_Team 11_

Iruka found the team in the park again, waiting for their instructions.

"Do you guys know where Asuma is?" Iruka asked them as he arrived.

"Some ninja guy came up to us a while ago and told us he was spotted near the warehouse he exploded." Ino told him. "The guy looked really weird. He kept mumbling about quitting his job or something. He looked totally stressed out."

"Alright." Iruka sighed. "Let's see…What can we use to stop him? We used compassion and fluff for Kurenai…now what can we use for Asuma? Quick, do any of you guys have anything we can use?"

The three looked at each other awkwardly and began emptying their pockets. Iruka examined each item closely, but looked disappointed with each one.

Finally, he looked over at Choji's items and stopped.

"What is that!?" Iruka gasped.

Choji held it up for Iruka to see. Iruka grinned and looked over at Shikamaru, who by now realized what he was talking about. Ino and Choji didn't understand.

They found Asuma skipping in the moonlight with a bungee cord in each hand. No one knows why he had bungee cords, or where he got them from. In fact I'm pretty sure even he didn't know why or where he had gotten them. But he had them, non-the-less.

The four of them hid silently in the trees, watching; waiting for the right moment to expose themselves. Iruka finally looked over at Choji and nodded.

In ninja-like stealth, Choji tiptoed out into the open, the item in his hands. Nervously, he cupped his hand to the side of his mouth and called out. "Asuma-sensei!" he bellowed, his voice cracking slightly with uneasiness. Asuma, who was quite a bit away from Choji, spun around with a murderous look.

Choji swallowed hard but held up his item. "I have nicotine mint gum!" he told him. "It's cinnamon; you favorite!"

Asuma's expression changed at the sound of 'gum' and 'cinnamon.' He looked like a puppy begging for a treat, and just as that, he dashed towards Choji, stopping to sniff the minty gum.

"Do you want it?" Choji asked him. Asuma nodded, looking very pleased.

"Then stop smoking those cigars!" Choji snapped. "And then the gum is yours."

Asuma stopped begging, and looked up at Choji oddly now. He pulled out a cigar and looked at it, and then looked up at the gum. He looked back down at the cigar, then at the gum, then the cigar, then the gum again. By now Choji was shaking with fear, for if Asuma picked the cigar he'd surely kill Choji on the spot. He looked over at the other three for encouragement only to see that the others had climbed a tree for their own safety and were grinning down at Choji with false confidence. Choji looked back at the confused Asuma fearfully.

Asuma looked as if he wasn't willing to make an answer anytime soon, so Shikamaru up in the tree suddenly whispered down, "Take the gum! It's better!" Asuma moved his hand towards the gum, then towards the cigar, then the gum, then…

Finally, after about ten useless minutes of this, and because Iruka knew he had to be somewhere else helping the other teams, Iruka climbed down carefully and slowly approached Choji and Asuma like those guys from the Animal Channel do when approaching a lion. He grabbed the gum from Choji and looked right at Asuma.

"If you don't take it, I will." he told him. "Then you'll never have this gum ever again."

And low and behold, Asuma looked horrified by that. He snatched the gum out of Iruka's hand and shoved it into his mouth happily, now completely forgetting the cigar he now had dropped.

Shikamaru grinned at Iruka. "Thanks." he smiled. "Looks like its over for Asuma. That gum should keep him occupied for at least a day."

"Good." Iruka sighed, relieved it had worked. "Now I'll leave it up to you guys."

And then, like a ninja in the night, he dashed away to find the next of the people who needed his Iruka-ness.

_Team Gai_

Tenten first spotted Iruka and waved at him to get him to find them. They hid quietly in the dark ally on the destroyed streets of Konoha.

"First, where is Gai?" Iruka asked them.

"Well…" Lee mumbled.

"We don't know." Tenten said bitterly. "We lost track of him at least two hours ago." She glared at Lee again.

"He's still wearing this bracelet you put on him, right?" Iruka asked them.

"Yeah, but it's turned off." Lee said.

"Don't they usually have a tracker in them that works when it's been broken or turned off?" Iruka asked again. "In case something like this ever happens?"

Tenten blinked. "I never thought of that." she admitted. She pulled out an instruction manual and looked it over, flipping through the many pages. Finally she grinned up at them.

"Lee, there may be hope for you yet." she smirked at him.

"How do you do it?" Iruka asked her. "Quick, we need to find him."

Tenten pulled a remote-like thing and showed it to them. "I forgot about this. It's a remote to send the shock bracelet off without Gai-sensei getting close to the other ones. I never thought I'd have to use that, but I never noticed the tracking button on the bottom."

"Good work, Tenten!" Lee cried. "Now you can find Gai-sensei with that!"

"You mean you can." Tenten corrected him with a sinister grin. Lee's smile faded instantly.

"Yeah, but what do we do when Lee catches him?" Iruka sighed. "We can't just find him and have no plan to stop him."

"The key!" Lee cried. "I still have one."

"I get it!" Tenten gasped. The two looked proudly at Iruka who had no clue what they were talking about.

"If we, and by that I mean Lee, can get Gai's bracelet turned back on with one of the keys, he'll be shocked by Neji's." Tenten explained. Lee grinned at this until he realized his name had been said.

"He still has the bracelet on?" Iruka repeated in disbelief. "I mean, I know he's Gai, but he'd take it off, right? He's not that stup…"

Sadly, his students shook their heads.

Tenten started up the tracker and the three raced off into town. "He's somewhere near the markets." Tenten told them. She planed to hand off the device to Lee and run far away when they got too close to Gai's location. Lee, holding the key of destiny, raced behind her. He had a mission, to turn Gai back to the way he once was. This was mega important.

Once they reached the marketplace, they stopped and listened.

"I hear Neji!" Lee whispered.

"What's he saying?" Iruka asked.

"He's just screaming…" Lee mumbled.

"Neji is such a drama queen." Tenten sighed. Lee looked at her, thinking, _So are you…_

"Okay, Lee." Tenten whispered. "It's up to you. Go turn the bracelet off right now."

"Gotcha!" Lee hissed. "I'll save you Neji!" And with a heroic dash, he leapt away.

Lee ran stealthily through the streets, looking around for Gai and following Neji's excessive wailing. As the screaming grew louder and closer, Lee held onto his key tighter.

Finally, Lee spotted Gai savagely ripping apart a trash can. Neji's voice was growing hoarse and he looked tired from yelling for so long.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted. His teacher, the one he had looked up to for so long, turned to him, grinning.

"Join me, Lee!" Gai laughed. "Join me and Neji in our youthful bliss!"

"Stop saying that, it's weird!" Neji snapped.

"Gai, this is wrong." Lee cried. "I need to let him go, or I'll have to stop you."

"You think I can be stopped?!" Gai suddenly growled, his voice turning demonic. "I'm Might Gai of Konoha! I will never be stopped!"

He lunged at Rock Lee, who screamed and began running in zigzags to get away.

_Crap_, Lee thought miserably. _This is impossible! How am I going to stop him with this tiny key!?_

"Believe in yourself!" came a voice in Lee's head. "After all, you are the Green Beast of Konoha! You can do it. Believe!"

"I am the Green Beast of Konoha!" Lee cried. And with that, he spun around and tossed the key at Gai. As if in slow motion, the key clicked into the lock perfectly.

With the powers of Lee's mind, he turned the key mentally, and suddenly Gai was on the ground screaming. He ripped off the duct tape and fled in terror, dropping the key Lee had given him.

"Lee, you did it!" Neji cried happily. But as Lee ran to hug him, Neji punched him hard in the face.

"You got me kidnapped!" he yelled. "Gai told me!"

"I'm sorry, Neji!" Lee gasped.

"You did it!" Iruka cried. The other two had run out of their safe spot far away to congratulate Lee.

"Good work!" Tenten grinned. Lee held his hand up to stop her.

"Do not congratulate me for I have only caused pain." he said heroically.

"Good lord," Neji groaned. "_Can we just go home_?"

"Oh, yeah!" Iruka cried. "I still have to help Naruto! See you guys around!"

The three of them waved him off as he ran away.

_Team 7_

When Iruka found Naruto and the gang, they were trembling in fear and anxiousness.

"Where have you been?" Sakura cried when he came to sit down with them. They were all seated on the sidewalk in front of the shelter.

"I finished all the other problems." Iruka told them proudly. None of them looked impressed.

"So what's the situation?" Iruka asked Sasuke.

"Kakashi's still in there." Sasuke mumbled. "That's all we know."

"Buster misses his family!" Naruto cried. "All his friends are in there and he's worried."

Iruka winced. That dog was just too damn cute.

"Okay." Iruka sighed. "Let's think; how should we get Kakashi out?"

"We run in and yell at him." Naruto said breathlessly, just as soon as Iruka stopped talking.

"You really do act without thinking, don't you?" Sakura sighed. "You're honestly hopeless."

"I am not!" Naruto snapped as Buster growled in agreement. By growling, I mean he growled cutely.

"Do you guys have anything to say?" Iruka asked them.

"No." Sakura sighed.

"If we knew what to do we wouldn't have asked for your help." Sasuke said rudely.

"Well, if no one else knows what to do, then we have to go with Naruto's plan." Iruka sighed. Sakura and Sasuke looked at each other awkwardly, then at Naruto, who was beaming.

"Why are you so happy?" Sasuke snapped.

"I'm the smart one, today!" he grinned. Sasuke slapped him.

"There is nothing smart about your plan." Sasuke snapped at him.

"But it's all we have." Iruka corrected him. "Let's give it a try."

"You ready, Buster?" Naruto asked the puppy. Buster nuzzled his head against Naruto's chin happily.

"I love you so much, Buster!" Naruto giggled. "You're the best dog a boy could have!"

"You coming, Naruto?" Iruka called. The rest of the team stood at the door.

"Yeah, coming!" Naruto grinned. Still holding Buster tightly, he raced in after them.

They raced back down the stairs to find the same scene as before; crates of dogs piled high with Kakashi standing proudly on top of the. This time, oil lamps around the room were lit and burning, giving the room an ominous feel.

"You guys are back for more?" he taunted them.

"Buster's not happy about what you're doing!" Naruto snapped. "He's angry at you for imprisoning his family!"

"Buster is not yours!" Kakashi snapped. "He's mine!"

"He doesn't want to be yours if you're like this!" Naruto snapped back. "Kakashi, you used to take such good care of your dogs, but now…now…!"

"You're crazy!" Sakura finished.

"Because you made me give them up!" Kakashi hissed. "If I took such good care of them before, why'd I have to give them away!?"

"Kakashi, stop this." Sasuke snapped. "This isn't you. You never act like this!"

"You're too out-of-character!" Naruto yelled.

"You made me this way!" Kakashi screamed. "And now I'm going to leave…and I take all my dogs away!"

"What?!" Sakura snapped. "Iruka, do something!"

Iruka shrugged. This was just too weird.

"Not only that, but when I leave with my puppies I'm blowing up this whole shelter." Kakashi snapped. "And you can't stop me, because I have the dynamite already here!"

"You fiend!" Naruto gasped.

Buster suddenly leapt out of Naruto's arms and began barking loudly at Kakashi. "You tell 'em, Buster!" Naruto yelled proudly.

Sasuke kept his eyes on Kakashi and began backing up. Maybe, from an angle, he could throw a kunai at him to distract him, and then Sakura and Iruka could…

Suddenly, Sasuke bumped into something. He turned around to see what it was but it was too late. An oil lamp tipped over, crashing on the ground. A few feet away, Sasuke saw crates of TNT.

Kakashi gasped and leapt off his crates to get away.

"This is bad!" Sakura gasped. "Run!"

"What?!" Naruto asked, unaware of what happened. Sakura grabbed the back of his jacket and raced out behind Iruka and Sasuke.

Outside, they raced away to a good distance. Naruto squirmed and yelled the entire way out.

"What re you doing!" he snapped.

"We had to get out, Naruto!" Sasuke yelled.

"You guys are so spastic!" Naruto shouted. "Buster's still in there! I have to get him before Kakashi does…!"

Behind them, the building exploded into ruins. Naruto turned and watched it in horror.

Author's Notes: PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME! PLEEEEAAAAAASE!


	8. Making Peace

Author's Notes: Thanks again for everyone who read this story. You guys are so awesome, all of you. This has been a fun project to work on, and I'm happy I can say I started and finished something this summer that I can be proud of. So thanks.

Though, truly, I think more people liked Buster than the story itself. Maybe not, but for a while all I heard of was how cute Buster was. Seriously: some people have to spend days working on an OC with a background and everything, and I all I did was give him a name. (So easy…) I never actually said what kind of dog Buster was. Well, I guess he can be anything you want him too, but I found some pictures of Welsh Corgi puppies on Google and I think that's what I'll picture him as for now. (They got short libble legs!) But really, Buster was so last minute. He wasn't going to be in it at first, but I came up with him around chapter 2 or 3. Fo sniz.

As for future projects, I'm so uninspired. I will continue to write crack fics, but at the moment I don't have any ideas. Not even for the Three Years sequel. So for a while, there's not gonna be much. But, if you want to, **I'll be updating my user page with info on future projects when I have something and I'll have the sequel up as soon as I can.**

Thanks for reading this story, guys! I never dreamed this one would be this well received. Love you guys lots.

DeathByBacon

Chapter 8

Making Peace

Team 7 (Next Morning)

The news report the next day said that every dog in the shelter had perished in the explosion. Even Buster. That morning, as the story was shown on the news, Naruto watched, still shocked by the events that had taken place that night. He was tired from staying awake all night, and depressed by the loss.

Around noon, even when Sakura and Sasuke came to pick him up for training, Naruto refused to go.

"Naruto, please." Sakura sighed in a soothing voice. "Let's go talk to Kakashi-sensei. I'll bet he's just as sad as you."

"I'm never talking to Kakashi ever again!" Naruto wailed from inside, yelling at the two who waited in front of a closed front door. Sakura sighed.

"Naruto, are you wearing clothes?" she asked.

"I'm in my pajamas." he said sternly.

Sakura sighed again and turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke, go dress him." she told him. Sasuke looked mildly surprised by this.

"No!" he snapped. "I will not, that's…"

"_Just do it_!" Sakura screamed. Sasuke's face went pale as he scurried in the apartment. After some odd noised and yelling from the inside, Naruto walked out, looking scared. He looked as if he dressed himself in a hurry.

"Did you dress him, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, sweetly.

"I didn't have to." Sasuke told her.

"He made me dress myself at knifepoint!" Naruto screamed. "He said he'd stab me if I didn't! With my own kitchen knife, too!"

"That's good." Sakura smiled. "It's good to see you up and ready to go, Naruto."

Naruto followed behind them angrily. The crossed the village without another word, leaving awkward silence everywhere they went. Finally, once they had reached Kakashi's house, Sakura turned to Naruto.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked him.

Naruto said nothing and silently followed.

_Team 8_

Kurenai and her students sat at her kitchen table, eating a healthy breakfast of Ninja-O's. The mood, for once, was happy and blissful; an unusual atmosphere for them at this point.

"So everything worked out, huh?" Shino said quietly.

"Sure did!" Kurenai grinned. "I got my money back! I'm a new woman!" She looked at the glares of her students. "Just as long as I spend wisely, that is." she added.

"We I'll glad sensei's better." Kiba said, feeding Akamaru some cereal. "I don't have to fear her anymore."

"And now I can go shopping." Kurenai said calmly. "And I'm really thankful you guys helped me…and by that I mean Hinata. For that I'd like you to come shopping with me today!"

Hinata smiled weakly. "Really?"

"Of course!" Kurenai said happily. "You are my favorite student after all!"

Kiba opened his mouth to say something but closed it in the end.

"So, you going to JC Penny?" Shino joked with her.

"Oh, I forgot about that!" Kurenai gasped. "They were so nice; they came this morning, you know."

"Here?" Kiba asked, surprised.

"Yep."

"What was so nice?" Hinata asked. "What did they say?"

Kurenai cleared her throat and smiled wide. "They told me to never come back ever again." she grinned. Her students stared blankly.

"Why is that nice?" Shino said slowly.

"They gave me their entire clearance line for free!" Kurenai smiled, looking excited.

"That's great!" Hinata said quietly. "And if you don't like anything they gave you, we can sell it to pay off your debts!"

"I know!" Kurenai cried. "It all works out!"

The four of them continued to eat their cereal and for once, it was in peace.

_Team 11_

The next morning they found Asuma waiting for them on the bridge with a pack of gum in his pocket and a cigarette in his mouth. They sighed heavily at this, but each student was thankful that it wasn't 20 cigarettes like before.

"Nothing's changed, has it?" Shikamaru groaned.

"Well, looks like the 'healthy lifestyles' are over." Choji sighed. Ino gave him his bag of chips back and he passed over a handful of air.

Shikamaru looked down at his weights for a moment and then tossed them into the river. "Too troublesome…" he sighed.

"I know what you're thinking, but I've made up my mind." Asuma told them. "Only one cigarette at a time." He pointed to the one in his mouth and raised his eyebrows.

"Well, I guess that's a start." Ino admitted. "Bleh, I don't want to exercise today."

"Me neither." Choji agreed.

"Eh…" Shikamaru sighed. "Asuma, let's go see a movie."

Asuma smiled at his unhealthy students once more. "Sure," he grinned. "Let's go see a movie."

_Team Gai_

Gai-sensei was given a week off for vacation by the council of ninjas. In fact, he was given one every month for the rest of his life. His doctors thought the time away from the village and his students would be healthier for hi…and his students. Also, he (and his entire team) was given free therapy sessions for every Friday for the rest of their lives. When they were unable to put them in a "type" of therapy, they went to the closest thing: family therapy.

Eventually, Tenten and Neji stopped giving poor Rock Lee his daily beatings and things turned back to normal; well, as normal as things could get. The main problem was still unsolved. Gai insisted that his students joined him on his vacations, even going so far as to inviting their families as well. Most anyone invited turned down the offer, despite the fact that everyone wanted the vacation itself.

Still, daily life turned back to normal for the team, and now living in their peaceful lifestyles, none of them wanted it any other way.

_Team 7 (Kakashi's House)_

Sasuke did Naruto's head a favor and knocked on the door himself. For a moment of more awkward silence, they stood there, waiting. Naruto scowled quietly behind Sakura and Sasuke.

"I don't wanna be here." he mumbled.

"I know you don't." Sakura sighed back. Naruto frowned.

The door suddenly made a clicking sound and finally swung open. Standing there before them was Kakashi, although something was very odd. The three had expected a somber and mourning Kakashi, but he looked cheerful and delighted to see them.

"Hiya, guys!" he greeted them. "Come in, come in! I was just making breakfast."

They stepped inside, confused. "Kakashi, you okay?" Sasuke asked him slowly. "You look so…so…"

"…_happy_." Naruto said sharply. He was not pleased with this attitude.

"Well, it's a lovely morning." Kakashi told him.

"You're not even sad?" Sakura asked. "But last night! Remember?"

"Poor fool's insane…" Sasuke muttered.

Naruto began walking into the living room. He was just about to yell at Kakashi when suddenly something stopped him.

The room was filled with dogs, all staring at Naruto. "Holy…!" Naruto breathed, and Sasuke came to see what was there.

"You got all new dogs!?" he cried.

Kakashi poked his head out from the kitchen. "Who said they were new?" he grinned. (If you could see him grin, that is…)

Naruto suddenly looked down at his feet. Standing there, looking as cute as ever, was Buster; unburned and perfectly put together. In an instant Naruto had picked him up and was cuddling him in his arms.

"Buster!" he cried, fighting tears. "You're alive!"

"They're all the dogs from the shelter!" Sakura gasped.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke shouted. "How'd you get them all out in time! How'd you save them all!"

"How'd I not?" Kakashi simply told him. "Who wants bacon?"

"Thank-you for saving Buster!" Naruto cried.

"Oh, he's not yours." Kakashi told him. "If that's what your getting at."

"What?" Sasuke groaned.

"You can visit him, if you like." Kakashi said quickly. "But he's mine."

Naruto said nothing. He was too busy hugging Buster. The fact that he was alive was all he needed to know.

I suppose the moral of this story is not to change people for who they truly are. But I guess if they have some horrible, unhealthy habit that could ruin their life, its okay to support and help them. But I guess this story does a poor job explaining that, too. So really, there is no moral after all. But all in all, you shouldn't change people for who they really are. After all, which is harder: breaking habits or puppy love?

The End

Author's Notes: See. Buster's okay. No more threatening me, guys! Really! Seriously, _Insanity Itself_, I wouldn't kill him! He's so ickle and cute! (She/He threatened to spam my profile page… **and sue me**!sad face)

Love you guys and thanks for reading again. I hope you tune in for any other stories I might write soon!


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